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I did occasionally do nose thwaps, not hard, but it was what I was taught. It was rare though, and I doubt it was actually necessary. I would growl, and if necessary storm after them and loom over them. That would always get the roll over belly up surrender posture.
I've tried that and he would just get very scared. I don't want him to be scared.
I see. I would think about a tiny amount of it being okay. Not very much at all, and once he surrenders, then you can immediately take back the desired object and withdraw. Then like, a couple minutes go by so nothing is confusing, and you counteract the fear you just used with some lovings, since you got what you wanted, and you want to reward the obedient behavior.
Basically employing just enough fear to halt his aggression, but then no more, and going back to using just positive reinforcement.
I'm no expert, incidentally. This is all just old anecdote from my youth, and now I'm getting away from that into more theory and shit, so I'm getting even further out from my wheelhouse. Kinda just waiting now for another Lemming to tell me what a dumbass I am, and explain more modern dog training methods. lol
Not gonna call you a dumbass when you're open about this being anecdotal only, but yes, all of the 'assert dominance' stuff has been pretty thoroughly debunked. At best you'll get a dog who fears you just the 'right' amount to behave how you want them to when you are there, but they don't have any actual skills and the behaviour does not transfer well to other people and situations. And if their new anxiety does overcome their fear, the resulting behaviours will be much worse than what you started with.
Do you have any literature recommendations that might cover the latest understanding?
Not on hand, I'd just be googling for it at the moment. I did recently save a super informative comment about the history of the training schools of thought, I know it's not an actual source but it should provide enough to search for if you want to go deeper. Comment link: https://possumpat.io/comment/2354604
Thank you. It's good enough for me, I don't own a dog, so it's more just a curiosity thing.