this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2025
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24 M at a 3‑way fork for my life:

 ① Seattle/Portland SWE job, 

 ② unfunded CS PhD (live with in‑laws),

 ③ $90 k Columbia BME master’s. 

Which of these should I do?

Stats:

Me: 

24 M, fresh BS CS (+ physics minor, 4.45 GPA, undergraduate research internships, swift student challenge winner, US citizen)

Spouse: 

27 M, tech lead remote, $210 k comp, recession resistant job, very smart. But is not yet a citizen, temporary protective status from Syria, been in US since he was 13, scary times but ignoring it. 

Current debt: 60 k @ 14 % (2k / mo) (Consolidated credit card debt)

Accepted programs: 

  • PhD CS @ UCCS  (3-4yrs, 20k per year est)

  • MS Bio Medical Engineering @ Columbia (18 mo, $90 k tuition) (Have two weeks to accept/decline)

We like the PNW, the humidity and rain, and culture have been so nice(at ABnB right now). I could maybe get a tech job at about 100k, but slightly concerned with this economy, love research, my dream job would be R&D engineering job in the long term, but often requires masters/PhD. 

Or maybe I pay money and network with rich people and create a start up at Columbia, or maybe I should start working now in case my spouse gets deported and we need to do something(sorta in denial about this option for now).

Or maybe we live in big house with my spouses parents (adoptive US citizens) in the country, like we have for 5 years now, but the 40 minute commute for UCCS PhD and isolation in Colorado Springs is something my partner, and to some extent I, want to leave. (Very loving and supportive, very grateful for them but we want to be adults and decide things like what’s for dinner for ourselves). 

Or maybe I’m young and dumb and lack perspective and we should stay there until we pay down debt, but maybe moving is the jolt we need to start budgeting properly.

(Consolidated credit card debt is going down from 80k, just that partner used to have slightly excessive lifestyle, and has paid my way through college)

What do I do with my life?

So many choices right now, and they feel so final, difficulty sleeping for the past few nights.

Thank you for all your thoughts ahead of time!

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 hours ago

I'm not American, so I can't speak to the reality on the ground over there, but I'd say you should try getting rid of that debt as fast as possible.

It sucks feeling guilty about every necessary purchase with that ever-growing number looming over you.

Shit happens. A pipe will burst. Your favourite uncle will have too much fun on a gambling app. The car's engine will make a noise no mechanic has ever heard before. etc etc.

I have roughly ~$3.5k in debt and it feels impossible to shake off.

That being said, there's no 'wrong' choice. The other two comments hit the nail on the head. These aren't the only three options and you can always go back and give another shot at whatever you didn't pick.