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Achilles, Agony and Ecstasy in Eight Parts by by Manowar
A 28-and-a-half-minute hair metal song that is a retelling of The Iliad. It even has an extended drum solo.
If someone can hang with this track, they are a true gem of a person.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0AnLvPs6JE
Honestly if it's not too loud it sounds like ok background music.
I unironically love the song. But I have actively trolled a bar with an internet juke box using it several times.
Of course you have to follow it with The Odyssey by Symphony X, a 24-minute symphonic metal track.