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How can I become independent in life? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

33 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Hello there, I'm a 21 year old guy from Germany and have very strong depression because of the constant abusive, toxic and manipulative behavior that I received from my parents since I was a kid.

Those strong depression are also the reason why I struggle a lot in life to get anything done by myself and become independent.

I already lived on my own when I was 17 but I failed because of my depression that made me incapable of taking care of myself which is why I moved back to my parents a year ago who only make it way worse for me because they won't stop hurting me and treating me like a awful person.

I feel so stuck in life and I tried everything from therapy, mental hospital and medications but nothing worked. The burden is just too strong causing me to feel worthless and incapable of living, I have lots of shame, guilt and major anxiety.

It's like being paralyzed by the fear of life.

My biggest dream always was to get rid of my parents and live independently on my own but I'm just incapable. I wanna get rid of this victim state so bad but I can't find a way to escape/deal with the hurt.

Is there anything I can do?

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Betreutes wohnen ist hier das Stichwort. Gibt es auch mit eigener Wohnung so das je nachdem wie viel Hilfe du brauchst jemand vorbei kommt. Zusätzlich helfen die auch bei Ämtern oder zb Therapeuten Suche.

Und ansonsten es ist okay wenn man nich alles Schaft und hilfe braucht. Kein Meister ist vom Himmel gefallen und du gehst schon deinen Weg also achte auf dich und übernimm dich nicht sonst geht es oftmals schnell bergab und eventuell weiter runter als zuvor. Spreche aus Erfahrung.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I second this. One can get support renting a place oneself or by means of a "wohngruppe". Same here in the Netherlands.

Some friends of my son, friends we know for years live this way, having a spacious student like room and get mental / social / medical help, can interact with others in the group if they want to or not. They are clearly better off than at home in their opinion.

I strongly agree that betreues wohnen would be the first big step solving the mental burden from abuse and neglect.