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I wonder why your dreams are not vividly colored?
I used to try for lucid dreaming. Had some successful attempts. One thing that always woke me up from them was doing something too far outside my physical experiences. I could never fly like superman. But I could kind of float like I was in water sometimes. I tried to breathe underwater during these dreams a few times. It always woke me up. Until I got scuba certified. Now that I had had experience breathing underwater in real life, all the sudden that was fair game for the lucid dreams.
So my guess is your perception and processing of the world is somehow dull. I wonder if like those glasses that help some color blind people experience color would help shift that, or maybe time in a hyper saturated VR experience.
I didn't want to dive too much into dreams because it's a whole separate bee hive, but since you brought it up: I'm not in control of my dreams. At least not the ones when I'm sleeping. When I'm sleeping my dreams are like a movie reel that I watch, 99% of the time in first person, but I've had a couple where I watch myself as well. My day dreaming and imagining is completely in my control, but when I'm asleep I've never had any amount of control, or even realization that I am in fact dreaming. It's just watching a movie without any play/pause/rewind/fast forward.
Also, one theory I have had is that it has a little to do with what I watched as a kid. I read somewhere that before color TV, many people dreamed in black and white. While I didn't grow up in that time period, I DID watch a ton of shows from that time period with my grandma as a kid, stuff like I Love Lucy, The Munsters, etc. The way those shows looked is kind of how my dreams look and I think it's why. The fact I also mixed in cartoons here and there is probably why I have any color to my dreams at all.