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If I may ask, what was an example of a detail of that fulfilling life? And is it not possible to attain in this one?
A life without all the trauma and self harm. A life where I had all the support I needed to actually thrive and make something of myself. Sometimes it's just a life with a past love where everything turned out okay. Other times a life where I chose a more profitable career because I didn't need chaos to feel normalcy.
I'm a very broken individual so it's not really hard for me to dream up a scenario that's infinitely better than my reality.
That's part of what hurts so bad waking up and realizing I'm back in my own life.