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We got married in DC and saved so much money on locations. We booked the Jefferson memorial 6 months in advance for like $50 (saved a couple thousand), and a boathouse on the Potomac for $800 (saved 8-20 grand) because we knew someone - wedding still cost like 33k. We were so cognizant of cost too - no flowers at all, DJ instead of a band, bought our own booze, etc.
I think people don't realize how much more expensive cities are, and also do a terrible job accounting for all the true costs of things. Food was obviously the bulk of it and other big things like booze, rings... But I kept impeccable records, and what really added up was the little $100 here, $300 there things. Hotel and plane tickets for destitute father-in-law, all the meals at restaurants you're taste testing to see if you wanna have the rehearsal dinner there, tips, food while the bridal party is getting ready, gifts for bridal party, the officiant, etc etc.
I wouldn't trade it for the money back because I'm notoriously cheap, so I pinched and saved and was super proud of our wedding's price to quality ratio, but I'd be lying if I said the final tally wasn't super painful and didn't delay our house a bit. It worked out in the end, though. Thanks interest rates!
Yeah, people definitely don't understand that you can cut so much and bargain hunt the whole thing and still spend 15-20k. That's a"cheap" wedding. The average in my area is 33k. That's not because people are just spending frivolously and don't budget, that's because every single aspect of a wedding is expensive. Hell, tipping out the bar staff and photographer alone is expensive.
Skip it if you want, but even as a very frugal person, I'm very happy we had a huge party with lots of food and an open bar. It's worth it to spend money on life rites. Life rites are like half the point of being human!
If you don't care about celebrating with friends and family, don't spend the money, but for us sharing the day with the people we love and merging our families was important.