Dad Jokes

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This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

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In the heart of the Rocky Mountains was a monastery. (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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It was founded by a group of monks from the southern USA. Rather than building a chapel, they chose to live in a series of underground tunnels. The nearest town only saw the elusive monks once a year, when they would break their usual stoic diet and make traditional southern fried chicken for everyone in town.

They were known as the deep friars.

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[–] [email protected] 54 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

A monastery in the English countryside had fallen on hard times, and the monks decided to open a fish-and-chips restaurant. The establishment soon became very popular, attracting people from all over.

One city fellow, thinking himself clever, asked one of the brothers standing nearby, "I suppose you're the 'fish friar?’"

"No," answered the brother, straight-faced. "I'm the 'chip monk.'"

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 months ago (2 children)

There was a monastery adjacent to a property owned by Hugh Jackman. To help the poor village nearby, the monks would sell flowers at a stand near the road, at quite a reasonable price.

This upset the local florist, who was accustomed to overcharging his clients. On doing some research, the florist found that the monks were not legally allowed to sell anything from their property. He took his complaint to the village authorities, but they explained to him that the monks were actually using Mr. Jackman's land for their flower stand.

They told the shop owner: only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

"Our main story tonight is about a 100 year old woman who says her secret to old age is walking around barefoot and never brushing her teeth. More news on this super calloused fragile mistress hexed with halitosis after the break."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

In other news: The Gotham Bank was robbed today, in broad daylight, by a Tarot card reader who usually practices her art in front of that same bank! She’s notable for having dwarfism and this probably helped her make good on her getaway. Stay tuned for updates on the Small Medium at Large!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

These just keep getting better and better

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Agreed! I've been cackling manically while my boyfriend keeps telling me to calm down 🤣🤣

Thank you to all for this glorious moment!