Muddobbers

"I've been given an RTF, because these are still somehow a thing, better open in WordPad"

This is an IT job in a nutshell

Not only will they find it, they'll end up going to the sketchier sites that don't do the age verification because they're not well known enough and not following the laws and they'll likely get something infected on the computer/network or worse.

I dunno, that's a huge plot of land it's sitting on. That's easily a $350k fixer upper project home! It's got personality! No noisy neighbors!