IonAddis

joined 1 year ago
 

So, I ABSOLUTELY know there's massive variation in this. Just want to get ahead of that.

What I'm looking for is...what do finances look like, casually, when you have a 100% paid off small (SMALL!) home. When a mortgage is out of the way, what's left to eat up your paycheck?

I suppose I'm looking for the sort of casual knowledge of expenses for this sort of life that your kids might pick up if they lived in your area with you in your home. En mass, pulled from multiple lemmy folks, so I can get an idea of general trends. I'm partial for info from the USA, but others reading this might appreciate statistics from other areas. :)

(People mistake how valuable this sort of "general idea" info is, I always see people going into the weeds on how every situation is different without bothering even giving a crappy signpost so I can see if I'm looking at a $5 expense or $500 or $5000. Knowing if something is going to be $5 or $5000 is very valuable, even if it's not some exact precise number. But I don't need to know if it's going to be exactly $392.29 if I wiggle my ears and tug my nose to get the right loophole, I just need to know that closer to $500 is correct, or whatever.)

I don't have family, so I missed out on "casual learning" opportunities, and don't have anyone to talk to IRL to get this info, so it's really hard to apply my city-living experience to try to extrapolate what life might be like if I make a goal to buy a small home in Nowheretown, USA to retire in 20 years down the line.

Anyway. So what do expenses look like if you have a small paid off house? What range do utilities run in for you (in your particular climate), what's home insurance like, what sort of unexpected expenses pop up when you own instead of rent?

What's utilities like for sewer and trash, especially? Those have always been rolled into my rent. Is rural internet still limited to DSL or satellite (or Starlink I guess these days), or has better infrastructure been rolled out in places over the past 20 years since I last looked for this info?

Edit: Also...talk to me about well water and well expenses, and septic tanks instead of sewer lines, and oil heating. I promise I'll listen!

Edit 2: Also talk to me about how propane works.

Thanks everyone. :)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I'm curious about two things. Will nesting birds or animals find this material tasty or good to gnaw on?

I always ask that ever since I learned vehicles using a more organic plastic for wiring harnesses suffer from shorts due to animals like mice nibbling the plastic because it smells tasty.

 

(Reeaaally not looking for terrible or horrifying things here. Want happy or cool stories! And I'll start.)

My job currently has me going into random people's back yards. I see immaculately groomed lawns, overgrown lawns, perfect shrubs, imperfect shrubs. I see weeds up to my hips, I see junk, kid toys, dog toys, real grass, astroturf, basically everything.

But today, I think I accidentally kind of walked into a modern fairy tale setting. Not a beautiful Disney type of fairy tale. More of an urban fantasy sort of thing--like if Abandoned Porn did gardens.

So, the place was a small suburban yard. House was probably built in the 70s, and has been neglected as of late. I had an impression of faded yellow siding, discolored, peeling.

The front yard had an old chain link fence, and was kind of overgrown with some gnomes and such, but that part didn't really register on me too much as I'd seen places similar to it from the front with overgrown plants and junk, and it usually just got worse in the back. On most homes, the front is the nicest part, and everything hidden in back is not so nice.

I go up to the door and ring the bell. An older man with hearing loss answered the door and I eventually got permission to go in back after pantomiming why I was there and what I was going to do. (I wasn't smart enough to get my phone out and type in it...next time, I guess, hah.)

So I tramp around into the back past a few cars that probably don't work, 90s era stuff, and one truck that might have been 70s or 80s.

And at first, all I see is weeds. Weeds, sticks, a gnarled tree that got knocked down in some storm and was still laying there, a wrought iron table that it'd landed on bent and deformed underneath it.

There seemed to be some paths through it all, but still, I was not able to easily move about, and I'm not a large person. My progression into the yard was: Crunch crunch, crack, OW, crunch, brush, rustle.

However...as I worked my way further into the back yard, I began to realize that even though there were clear signs of neglect, this yard wasn't actually ugly. Yeah, it was totally overgrown. Yeah, it needed considerable yard work done to get the old branches and that dead tree out.

But it was also beautiful.

And I realized that, once upon a time, someone with a creative touch had really, really loved this yard.

There were little stonework paths going everywhere to little places that had once been important, lost underneath the overgrown weeds and leaves underneath my feet. Not cheap fake stone or brick crap that someone artistically lacking picked from a catalogue or whatever, I actually kicked some of the leaves aside to see what was underneath, and found that it was nice stonework, the really well-planned kind with the type of artistry you only get if the homeowner themselves has a creative touch. (Basically, you can't buy that type of art, especially not for the tiny back yard of a 70s-built suburbia house.)

There was a gazebo with stone benches, there was a well (probably decorative, but not made cheaply). There was a bit of "cottage chic" stuff about--but it wasn't new, and the yard had grown around it. Tumbled some of it over artistically, tin watering cans lost in stalks of grass, giving it an air of veracity that it might not have started with.

I saw what seemed to be an old grindstone, for sharpening knives, covered in ivy and webs. It looked straight out of Skyrim...if a bit smaller than I expected. Speaking of webs, those were everywhere in the ivy, covering it and other plants thickly, catching detritus from spring like dead flowers and petals.

There were some weeds, but (astonishingly since I'd just tramped through yards full of weeds a few hours prior) they were scarce. The original plants were overgrown but had NOT been pushed out by weeds like I usually see. I'm not gardener enough to know how this even happened...I can only figure the original gardener was very clever at picking their plants to begin with, and chose ones that would strangle any weeds, instead of being strangled by them.

The entire back yard was overgrown, though. Just with those nice garden plants instead of weeds. There was ivy spilling everywhere, there were low-lying evergreen bushes creeping out of old stone planters.

I saw some dry rose thorns in the corner by the AC unit where I was doing my work, and thought, "I'm glad they didn't plant those roses where I am working...but they look pretty dead from neglect and too much shade".

My job had me moving about the entire yard, and I ended up approaching the AC unit from the other side--and saw a single dry rose bloom jutting straight up next to that AC unit. I hadn't been able to see it from the other side, the overgrowth was too thick, but approaching it from the gazebo, there it was. It was half-dead, probably from the rose bush being in total shade, or being choked out by all the ivy. But it was there. One bloom, pale pink and dying, sticking straight up like it was saying, "I'm still here!"

That flower, jutting up in the most inhospitable part of the yard, in this ruined garden that probably only I had set foot in recently, made me take a second look around, and I realized I was in the perfect setting for a modern "Secret Garden", or a modern retelling of Beauty and the Beast.

I thought about it a bit, wondered how everything had come to be in this state, and concluded that whoever had loved that garden had probably become disabled, or had passed on, and the people still living in the house had no ability or desire to go back there and start to clean things up and make it bloom anew.

And I found that sad, because this wasn't a regular bit of landscaping. So much work had gone into it at one point that now, probably at least 5 years later if not 10, I could STILL see the beauty it'd once had, shining through all the dead plants and spiderwebs and fallen objects on the ground. What would the original gardener have thought, to see it neglected like this?

The whole situation sticks with me. An interesting experience, and now a memory I'm grateful to have.

Like, here I am, in this little random back yard with a beautiful abandoned garden that nobody goes into and nobody has seen recently but me.

I think I have to write a story about it someday--a story better than this post. But I'm hoping a post will share a little bit of what I saw for now.

(I don't have a photo because the guy at the front door was near-deaf and could hardly understand why I needed to go back there--didn't want to take advantage of him allowing me back there in the first place by taking photos and putting them online. He deserves privacy. But I might very well write a retelling of some fairy tale, with the deaf guy answering the door...and what might happen when you go in back and get pricked by that rose next to the AC!)

Anyway. What are some things that you guys have come across, if your job takes you onto people's property for a living?

 

I was thinking about how I missed having an indoor thermometer that measures humidity. It's such a small specific thing, one I'd never think of getting unless pushed to it (which I was by one particularly dry winter). But I like having one now.

What are your small, "random" or "junk drawer" type of gadgets that you actually use or like having around?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

As far as I know, everyone dreams every night...it's part of the sleeping process...but you usually forget it ASAP so it seems like you didn't dream.

As for dreams I remember...less often as I get older, I find. Although I do get a few vivid dreams when using magnesium supplements, but I also acclimate to those quickly. And if I'm woken prematurely, sometimes a dream sticks around a bit more than it otherwise would.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

The Big 5 is the only "personality" test used in actual scientific studies, if I recall correctly.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

I began using Freetube exclusively to watch YouTube when YouTube complained about my ad blocker.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Just so anyone reading knows....some games with Linux binaries sometimes run better using proton and the windows binaries.

Crusader Kings 3 is buggy with Linux binaries but fine using proton, while Stellaris is the reverse for me. Ymmv.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 6 months ago (6 children)

I've been trying to move to Linux for about 20 years, but gaming issues always sent me back to Windows.

I tried again after hearing about how proton and steamdeck have made it so much easier for most games and it's true. Been exclusively on Linux on my gaming rig since about September. The only one I couldn't get working was oddly a little simple indie game, it lagged badly while stuff like No Man's Sky and Cyberpunk ran fine.

Microsoft is pushing this at a very bad time, because you CAN game on Linux now.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Yeah, I've had such an easy time of it that I'm actually surprised when a game doesn't work in Linux now too. Which is a reverse of how it used to be.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

I switched from Windows to Linux in the last year.

There are sometimes odd things to configure, but it's no more difficult than the windows XP era was.

It is much much easier than Linux used to be due to Steam, and I find I more often have problems with smaller indie games than big ones.

I've been playing Cyberpunk, Baldurs Gate 3, Stellaris, No Man's Sky, Crusader Kings 3 no problem. Plus many others.

I tried to game on Linux for many years with wine, but it was Steam that actually made it feasible for me .

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Like in a file?

Bitwarden already syncs between PC and phone.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I’ve tried pretty hard to search for relevant examples of this online, but I can’t seem to find the right search terms for any of this. The closest I’ve seen is “object permanence” in the ADHD research, but I’m pretty cautious to start self-diagnosing as I’m not a professional.

So, there's always going to be the "script kiddies" of the psychology world out there, who throw around words and jargon without actually understanding what they're doing or playing with. Just like there's know-nothings in tech who do the same with IT stuff.

But if you're a measured and logical person, you're not immediately going to become one of them if you start looking deeper into psychology and mental health stuff. You'll start out as a newbie, sure, but your brains aren't going to suddenly leak out your ears just because you're wondering if you have this or that, and in your case you literally told us in your post that the issues you are having are affecting your work and mental health, which, to me, suggests you wouldn't be researching to be trendy or to look cool, but because you're hurting and in distress and want to figure out what's going on.

That's a very valid reason, IMO, to start researching this stuff. You're hurt, you're in distress--time to research, even if that might on a superficial level make you look like you're chasing trends. (But I don't think you would be, necessarily.)

Anyway, your whole post makes me think researching the mental health stuff is actually a good direction to go. What you're doing with tech (not committing, searching for greener pastures) reminds me a lot of some of my mal-adaptive habits.

I grew up in a traumatic home, and I figured out (eventually, ha!) the reason I (for example) restart video games instead of playing to the end is because my stress response is messed up, and my solution to a fun game going sour is to "reboot" and seek a redo (just like how I left home, or quit some jobs to get away from stressful people!).

And I have other habits that were once useful for managing anxiety in fear in very high-stress environments, but which work poorly once one is in a more normal environment. It's very easy to pick up an adaption to stress or to something else in your past that is useful initially, but then starts misfiring when you unconsciously apply it to a totally different part of your life.

Therefore, as others have suggested, I think it might be good to take a look at the rest of your life. Are things stressful with your parents? Any boyfriend/girlfriend issues? Is work or school being a dick to you? If you are getting stress from those areas, you might be immersing yourself in tech stuff (and vacillating back and forth) as an unconscious reaction to that outside stress.

I'm a writer and I often submerge myself in writing when I have other stressors going on. So I look super-productive and happy to people who like to read my stuff, but it's usually masking everything else going to shit. When I was younger, I did something similar when making webpages and learning tech. Stuff was stressing me, and I found relief by throwing myself into learning something new. Set up entire websites and message forums just to get away from IRL stuff that sucked. The more going on at home, the more I was trying new things with my website.

One skill I found to be VERY useful to develop when trying to figure out my own psychology is learning how to kind of...stop and identify and name what I was feeling when I got out of sorts (anxious, fearful, upset, irritated, angry, hyper, manic, etc.). Try to name it and follow it back to its roots. WHAT am I feeling? Can I actually name it? And WHY might I be feeling it? What happened just before I suddenly felt this thing and switched tracks?

It's not going to be easy at first, it's a skill you have to develop like any other. But I found once I started being able to stop myself in moments when I was doing something impulsive/avoidant, I got a better handle on what I was feeling, and why, and that sort of gave me the opening I needed to control it, instead of letting it control me. Once you can touch and name something, it's easier to make it work for you instead of being hauled along by it.

For you, I think it might be worthwhile to do a bit more reading on ADHD, but also look up OCD (it's not about being a "neat freak" in practice, it's more about people having fears and anxieties and coming up with rituals in an attempt to control the fears and anxieties), and also look up maladaptive perfectionism. Even if none of this actually applies to you, becoming more informed doesn't hurt, and sometimes by following links from one topic to another you can stumble upon something that actually does help or apply to you.

You sound like you're in tech, maybe a programmer, and I've noticed several of my friends in this realm struggle with maladpative perfectionism, btw. (I do sometimes too, but to a lesser extent).

Basically, due to having parents that expected much of them, or their own internal sense of competition, folks can end up kind of breaking their "learning mechanism" or their ability to complete projects because tiny humdrum "mistakes" trigger the same sense of failure as true disaster. Things turn black and white--either everything is absolutely 100% perfect, or you've failed and you're going to burn in hell with all the other failures!

Like, for someone with maladaptive perfectionism, sometimes ANY mistake is a world-ending nightmare emotionally, and stress-wise. So one ends up being hugely stressed when small errors happen, stressed and anxious out of proportion to what's going on. And when you have that shit going on inside, that can snowball into other behaviors. Some people stop learning and stop trying new things (if you don't try, you can't fail, basically). Some people avoid things (if I don't engage maybe it'll go away). Lots of different ways people can respond, but it's often in order to get away from the pain or stress that happens when a "failure" happens.

It seems possible to me, from reading your post, that you might be switching back and forth because you're scared of settling on something imperfect. But--I could be VERY off-base. Which is why you should dig a bit more on psychology topics yourself. See what YOU think, given that you know your brain and history much better than any of us do.

Anyway. I don't know if this will help at all, but I hope it does.

If you take anything away from this, I'd say you have this random internet person's "permission" to go look up articles on psychology and things like ADHD or anxiety or the like. You won't magically turn into an idiot because you looked up a topic once or twice.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Is this a nostalgia thing? Like how people who grew up without records now get vinyl for the looks or nostalgia of a time that was better or something?

The downside of optical disks for me was how easily they got scratched, plus you have to store them somehow (a big physical library takes up actual physical space, like the wall of a room), plus you have to get up and physically move something to play it. If you're a super-neat person, perhaps this won't be downside (I am not, and still have rips of a CD that used to be in my car and got scratched, so the rip has a part marred by skipping).

Also, are ordinary blu-rays kept in ordinary home conditions (that is to say, not archival and not climate-controlled or pitch-black) going to hang onto their data for 20+ years? Or is continually moving it to new SSDs and thinking about raid setups a better defense against data loss for an ordinary home media user? I remember vividly having old CDs and floppies that would not run years later due to becoming corrupted by physical media decay.

Anyway, I have no answers, just want to put some thoughts out there.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

...now I really want to know if they do dilate, but I'm too cowardly to google it.

 

Here's some of mine:

  • Camping tables are generally shorter than typical desks, and helped ease some posture issues I had sitting at a desk that was too high for me. (Even adjustable desks still were too high for me at their lowest setting.)
  • When a place I lived in had a washer that was too tall for me to reach the bottom in (from the top), I found I could use kitchen tongs to get things like socks out of the bottom.
 

What tricks do you have to keep warm?

 

This post brought to you by cucumbers.

 

Also, how did you get into it, and what sort of education or certifications (if any) did you need?

And if you were to get into the same niche today, would you? (And in some cases--COULD you, or has the door closed?)

 

I didn't read this series when I was a kid, but I finally got around to reading Roger Zelazny's Chronicles of Amber.

Given it's an older series, I wasn't sure how much I'd like it (some of those older series age horribly), but it was actually REALLY good still, and the few minor things that'd aged too much wouldn't be hard to update for a modern audience.

But the concept of Amber is fantastic, Corwin's behavior and arc perfect, and I think a TV series could do it justice nowadays. Man, some CGI artists could do some beautiful work depicting a hellride through shadow.

I also would really, really love to see Anne McCaffrey's Dragonriders of Pern adapted...but there's a few parts that have aged pretty badly, so it'd need careful handling of things like Lessa and F'lar's relationship and such. And maybe, you know, keep Jaxom the hell away from Corana.

But I think the whole idea of threadfall, and Impressing dragons, could be done beautifully on the screen. I think a run from Dragonflight to All The Weyrs of Pern (including the Harper Hall Trilogy) could be done. (Then leave the later books out, they don't really add much, lol.)

The series would need a top-notch composer scoring it, though. I'd vote for Natalie Holt. She did wonderfully with Loki, and it'd be a nice touch having a woman score the series that'd have the Harper Hall Trilogy included in it.

 

I'm not a natural organizer, but I'm starting to appreciate things that help me organize as I get older.

Have any of you run into some sort of widget or gadget or box or even app that you almost brushed off, but then started using it and now it's the neatest thing ever?

I guess I'm looking for things you almost wrote off as boring-as-shit before you used it and were converted.

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