Gullible

>be me
>chad body, assburgers mindset
>don't be blond twink who squats in the smith machine
>don't want to stare
>he has thot levels of thick glutes
>tiny wasp waist and slim hips
>some modest muscle development in arms and chest
>nothing compared to his massive glutes
>weird and obscene body type that puzzles me

>still be me
>happen to come into locker room right after twink comes out of showers with a towel wrapped around his hips
>don't be old beergut retiree boomer who spends seven hours a day in the sauna and in the locker room, every single day
>beergut guy is walking around bare naked like usual
>see things happening as if in slow motion
>gym twink is trying to get his clothes from his locker while his towel slowly slides down
>huge glutes are in danger of exposure
>old beergut guy approaches reaching for the twink
>not sure what he's trying to do but I don't like it
>jump up in between them and yell
>”Touch him and I’ll tear you limb from limb."
>Didn't know my voice goes that low
>old beergut skedaddles back into the sauna
>turn around, look down at gym twink
>he stutters, th-thanks
>say ”Cover your nipples”
>turn around and head to the showers, still in shorts and socks
>stay in there thirty minutes
>he's gone when I come out
How do I save this. /fit/?

>be me
>be white
>have job in landscaping for multiple HOAs
>work with a lot of latinos who speak little to no English
>white lady comes up to me
"OH thank God, someone who speaks English"
>start speaking back to her in Dutch

MFW I tried to commit suicide once.

[a picture of a sad woodsman Pepe]

>be me
>have staff bow with arrows found at garage sale
>home alone and miserable
>start shooting bow at my mattress
>get idea
>go outside and shoot bow straight up in the air
>close my eyes and wait for deaths release
>nothing happens
>shoot another and then a other
>not working
>this time I shoot up in the air and try to watch to see where it's going to land
>run across lawn hopping it hits me
>keep doing this for a while
>parents come home
>watch me furiously shoot arrow into air then run around the back yard
>parents think I'm autistic and took my bow away

[a picture of an elevator with closed doors]

>get in
>door closes
>???
>on a new floor
do you guys really believe in this?

I'm gay.

My dad is not pleased with this fact. Completely homophobic.

Half the time his homophobia doesn't even make sense.

>Fishing show on TV in the living room
>Watching it with mom and dad
>Mom: "I don't have the patience for that kind of stuff
>Me: "It doesn't feel like too long when you're out there"
>Dad: "Time flies when you're a removed."
>Go to my room

It's getting ridiculous. He goes out of his way to respond to everything I do by calling me a removed.

>go to a club in vrchat
>a huge titty dragon girl and a cat girl are groping each other and kissing
>a fucking dude runs over as this guy
>screams 'I AM MEGALON'
>crashes the map

Write a 4chan greentext

> be me
> working at Tumblr
> David Karp comes in with a VR Headset
> "Hey, I want to show you something"
> he hands me the headset
> I put it on
> and I'm in a post-apocalyptic world
> "This is what Tumblr will be like in 10 years"
> I take off the headset
> "Wow, that was amazing"
> "Yeah, we're working on it"
> he walks away

>open thread about a problem I'm having
>first reply is by some obviously "respected" guy
>avatar is some incredibly choppy anime gif
>all caps red name, underlined
>VIP member - top contributor
>some other custom subtitle about the sites culture or some shit
>40k posts
>[SITENAME] clan
>Recent achievements: 1000 hours online, 10k posts, achieved years ago
>joined Dec 2005
>10000 Karma
>like 20 fucking red stars under his name
>From: the Underworld or some edgy shit
>MSN, Facebook, E-mail, Skype, AIM, literally everything
>personal website that has the same name as his nick, just a bunch of gifs
>signature is like 4 paragraphs, 2 quotes, like 20 fucking toolbars or irrelevant shit like nvidia user, coca cola drinker, air breather, removed etc
>some edited anime image at the end of his signature with his nick stylized on it
>read his post
>"i dont know lol"

>sleeping nude, as usual
>wake up, sleep paralysis
>feel stroking against the side of my head, hear “there there, it'll be fine…”
>feel imbued with power and RAGE
>suddenly no longer paralyzed
>LAUNCH myself out of bed, unmute computer, turn on screen
>Techno Rocker Rob Mayth Remix begins blasting at max volume, looping
>grab flamberge (picture of a glowing red sword being forged)
>run all through house, waving sword about while nude, flipping lights on
>roaring "COME OUT AND PLAY, MOTHERFUCKER"
>did this for an hour
>5:30AM by the time my rage dies down
>scream "FUUUUCK YEEEEAAAAAH" turn off lights, go to sleep
>no experiences since

also

>neighbor asks me what the fuck I was doing running around naked with a large sword last night >ask him why he was watching >he shuts up

>my mom left school at 16 due to poverty
>never showed much interest in books, music etc
>retired last year
>has since been reading through all the books I left in boxes at home
>her enthusiasm for reading is so pure I feel bad for not enjoying reading that much these days
>she kept asking me if I was writing a book and said she could "never do that"
>picked up the hint and encouraged her to give it a go, without getting my hopes up
>tfw she sent me a story she wrote about two rabbits who become friends
>tfw it made me cry and feels more honest than anything I've written

How to cope with this feel bros?

I love my mum so much.

heres a story from when i was a teenager

>be 14
>my mother is very sick
>constant medical issues, mobility issues
>not fat, she literally cant balance
>being 14, i thought she was invincible and would just get over it
>shes literally riddled with cancer
>shes a fighter though, and we live in australia so amazing healthcare
>she battles every shitty illness for 2 whole years
>all this time still manages to just be my mum
>makes me lunches, helps with homework, etc
>I’m always nice to her, because shes sick but sometimes it takes it toll and i get mad
>we have to eventually get a carer in to look after her as she is getting very sick
>she is bedridden before i know it, i can hear the medical equipment from my room
>wake up one night to her gasping, walk into her room with a glass of water
>shes gasping for air, she'd fallen from bed and broken 2 vertebrae
>she goes to hospital for 2 months after that
>fast forward 3 months and she is well enough to go to the park with her best friend and me
>we laugh and she even made us some sandwiches
>she gets sicker over the next few days
>but she still does those mum things, like making my school lunches
>she barely has enough energy to get out of bed, but still makes my lunch
>get called out of class one day, told to go to the office
>there is a cab waiting for me, the principal tells me "the school is here for you" but i don’t understand
>get to hospital, taken to emergency
>watch my mother smile at me and take her last breath
>later that night I’m home, walk into the kitchen after crying for hours
>open the fridge
>laid out in there are my school lunches for the next 3 days
>she literally used the last energy in her body to make sure i had my lunches for that week
>i sat there on the floor and ate every last one

i still cant think about how caring that woman was without tearing up.

god i miss her.

>trying to make my way through Infinite Jest when all of a sudden I hear someone's ringtone.
>"oh hi! I'm in the library... yeah I can talk"
>how dare he interrupt me during my daily Brain Gain session!
>spend 15 minutes carefully listening to his conversation, waiting for him to finish
>he finally does
>carefully observe for another 50 minutes until he finishes reading
>follow him outside the library, meet him just by the front door
>"y-you shouldn't, uh, t-talk in the library"
>he looks at me, somewhat bewildered
>"g-give me your telephone"
>"you fukkin' what?"
>"it's your p-punishment... I collect them in my trophy room"
>he beats me mercilessly
>crawl back into the library
>someone checked out my book thinking it was a library copy

such is the life of a modern intellectual