Ask Lemmy

Smoking.

Mirror selfie showing they use an iPhone, or if they are making that ironic "duck face".

It's not something I can always tell "instantly", but lack of curiosity. I can overlook a lot of flaws, being a very flawed person myself, but someone who isn't curious about the world around them is an absolute waste of time, and no amount of physical beauty can make up for it.

A bad attitude: always negative and defeatist.

Treating service workers like shit.

Willful rejection of basic hygiene. Come on, now. Toothbrushes and toothpaste are at Dollar Tree, make some effort.

Arrogance.

And let’s not forget MAGAts, gross. May as well date a cockroach.

Gonna go out on a limb here and say the obvious: being unattractive.

This question is always fishing for the "weird" things, or for ways for everyone to pat themselves on the back for not being shallow and expressing their moral standpoints in their dating preferences.

But in this day and age, it is always worth it to return to the fundamentals and focus on the obvious. So what's obvious?

• Don't have a fucked up face.
• Don't be grossly overweight or sickly thin.
• Show minimal signs of aging. If you are aging, age gracefully.
• Don't neglect basic higiene and grooming.
• Don't wear ratty or ill-fitting clothes.
• Don't be sick.
• Don't be angry or depressed.

So if anyone is actually trying to become more attractive - here is a good starting point. Accept the things you can't change, and work on the things you can. And yeah, also treat waiters nicely.

Before they mention any backwards conservative bigot views, or throw their trash out the window of a moving a car, or treat minimum wage staff like dirt, I'm afraid to say that a big red flag for me personally is being religious.

And it's not just because christians seem to be leading the charge in supporting right wing piece of shit politicians. It's not just because they have looked the other way for decades while priests molest kids but treat drag queens reading books in a public library as the ultimate sin.

It's from a lifetime of these people telling me that all the cartoons I enjoyed and music I listened to was going to send me to hell. It's from believing in the first place that anyone different from you deserves to literally burn for eternity and not seeing a problem with that. It's because of every christian that ever told me that only humans have souls and that other animals are just meat robots to use and abuse. It's because of my reborn christian hostel master that used to go on long lectures about how KISS stands for Kids In Satan's Service. And all of the other super racist, super christian piece of shit teachers in that school. It's because of every christian that I have eaten a meal with that insists on holding hands and saying grace without once asking or checking what my beliefs are, or even giving a shit.

I have a lifelong suspicion and distrust of religious people and nothing that has been happening in the world socio-politically in the last decade has improved that suspicion, in fact it's just made it worse.

So even if you claim to be a 'left wing christian" (like fucking for virginity) or try to tell me that most christians are decent people, all of the evidence says otherwise and tells me that christians are dogmatic and unempathetic and will support dogmatic and unempathetic leaders the first chance they get. And that makes us enemies.

The same goes for all monotheistic religions but a single out christianity here based on my own life experience.

Fake boobs and inflated lips

Spitting. If I see a cute guy walking down the sidewalk and he spits at the ground, I'm immediately no longer interested.

Smoking

Not having empathy for others.

Echoing Fox News propaganda

If a dating profile has a photo with a fishing pole in it.

I'm very intolerant of behavior that tells me type of people they are. For example throwing garbage on the floor, or being unkind to serving staff, or something like that. Red flags for sure.

And of course there's the obvious stuff that is an instant deal breaker, like bigotry, being anti-vax, hating cats (or animals in general), right-wing politics, etc.

• Racist
• Religious
• Egotistical/full of themselves
• Too much makeup/hair/clothing maintenance
• Unempathetic
• Not curious about the world
• Focus on celebrity news over real news

Treating waitstaff or any other retail/restaurant worker poorly.

Maggot hat.

Lack of respect. For self or others.

Using Lemmy

I cannot stand fashion stuff in general but especially things that get in the way of using your body or just doing shit like the rest of us.

Nails so long you can't pick up a credit card off the hardwood floor or type on any regular keyboards? Pass.

Fake eyelashes. Pass

Big fake boobs. Pass

Same goes for clothing that inhibits movement or jewelry that gets in the way of basic ass tasks.

I am a function over form man through and through.

I respect peoples choices to wear whatever they want but I will not associate with those people if I can help it.

Being vacuous

Ie. celebrity worship, a disregard for politics etc.

It's not a snobbery thing, but I can't find someone attractive unless I'm into their mind

Compatibility leads to attraction for me

There are some kinds of walks that are just a turn off for me, and I'm not talking about ministry of silly walks.

Just if the guys have no tension in their body, no self esteem at all or walk as if they'd explode if their peepee touches either side of the legs, wide legged... Maybe one could call it " the baggy jeans walk"? Actually it's hard to describe, but maybe you get it?

Saying something unapologetically ignorant

Intentional poor spelling.

Smoking is probably the biggest one for me though tattoos are pretty awful as well.