this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2025
221 points (98.3% liked)

Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 128 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

It would be funny except for all the old people who are going to stop getting checks and find out Musk closed their local SS office.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I thought they were working on establishing ss offices

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 36 points 4 weeks ago

Agreed. But my first thought was

[–] [email protected] 81 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

If there's one thing you want in a website used by almost 75 million beneficiaries it's a platform hastily put together by a crack team of geniuses--that don't password protect databases--"in months."

This is gonna go very very very poorly.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 weeks ago

Well maybe the beneficiaries can edit their benefits themselves?

[–] [email protected] 52 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

I've been party to dumping legacy systems and lift & shifts a few times.

Good fucking luck.

Knowing nothign about this, a project like this would take at least 2 years even if you are dropping a ton of use cases and dependencies.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 weeks ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 weeks ago

That takes me back

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 weeks ago

How does that have less than a million views? My team and I quote/use/reference it so often.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 weeks ago

Yes. Because they'll store everything in MongoDB.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Every time I watch it, I giggle 🤭

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Idk, something about the words "web scale" just sounds too funny

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Agreed (context: same legacy system work, 20 years), although given the size and scale of the tech debt involved, I'd peg it at 5 years if you had a team of 100+ COBOL developers.

10 to do it right.

Once you start dealing with databases older than SQL and languages older than C, things get funky real fast.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

Years are made of months … Good read https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mythical_Man-Month

More than just a good read, that's one of the project/programming Ten Commandments.

Can't tell you how many times over the decades I've had to argue with project managers about that.

~This~ ~comment~ ~is~ ~licensed~ ~under~ ~CC~ ~BY-NC-SA~ ~4.0~

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

The best way I’ve heard it said was “if a woman can make a baby in nine months, then nine women should be able to make a baby in one month, right?”

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 weeks ago

That's in the book :)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 weeks ago

Also a good pen is the report, we need three months for this, only to be told each week something else is more important. After the three month the question came is it finished now.

And so 2 Years turned to 6.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 4 weeks ago

This is going to be such a ridiculous disaster that it'd be entertaining to watch it go to shit — if it weren't such a critical system they're fucking with.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

Remember when people thought Elmo knew anything?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Pepperidge Farm remembers.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

OMG like when he said the universe was definitely a simulation because he’d read it in a pop science article and the MSM reported it as an Important Story.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

We also got fully self driving cars in 2 years though, in 2016....

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 weeks ago

I'm posting this from Mars colony. Amazing isn't it.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 4 weeks ago (14 children)

Can't wait to hear how the blockchain will factor into this redesign.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Calling it now - it will be written in such a way that Musk’s motley crew will be required to maintain it or update proprietary closed source components at extreme cost forever - practically guaranteeing he will always have full access to the data and be able to charge what he likes for any changes whoever takes power after Trump is gone.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's going to be written using vibe programming

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

In JavaScript ⛈️⚡⚡⛈️⛈️ (Imagine this is like, a scary thunderstorm or smth, to add atmosphere to the words, idk)

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 weeks ago

COBOL systems, when properly maintained, are highly reliable, with built-in redundancy and fault tolerance.

They can't have that because they want excuses when it goes down and leaves old people to starve and ruin their credit.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 weeks ago

This is going to really help government efficiency!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago

We tried guys, really we did. The vibe coding was working but it was sabotaged by liberals and Canadians. The only option is to end social security and put the poor and elderly into workhouses or send them to the shower blocks.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 weeks ago

Basically, a VBA Excel file.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 weeks ago

While (people exist) {give no money}

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Boomers gonna love how this turns out.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Someone please make a backup

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