this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
565 points (96.1% liked)

Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I've played enough X-COM to know that 50/50 is actually 100%, I just don't know which way. Better trigger it!!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

30%? Let me deliver that shot with crit across the map to your teammate hunkered down behind full cover for you!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

sudo rm train.sh

problem solved 👍

[–] [email protected] 224 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Option 3 means that the Javascript standards team dies either way, right? Number 3. No hesitation.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 3 days ago (18 children)

the c++ team is a sacrifice I'm willing to make. can we just shoot Brendan Eich in the head if he's not in there too?

[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 days ago

Push him onto the pressure pad. Make it his fault.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago

I feel like all C++ does these days is badly and very slowly copy other languages. It wouldn't be a huge loss.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'll take the 50/50 because those are some damn good odds!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

those are the best odds i've had in years

-dr. mann

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Well, you can take yourself out of the equation because you're not tied down and can just move after flipping the switch.

chooses bottom track

"C'mon...c'mon!"

trolley heads towards committe members

"Dammit!"

runs over and jumps on the nuclear bomb pressure pad

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

Joke's on you I hate myself and my family

[–] [email protected] 61 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago
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[–] [email protected] 79 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Javascript Standards Team is such an Oxymoron.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

why would you wanna kill the programming language commitees.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 days ago (4 children)

“You and your entire family” means “All life on Earth”.

That should make the decision somewhat easier.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago

A Mark VI only has a 18 to 160 kiloton yield.

Can we replace it with a B83?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Ok so this one just isn't fair.

Two possibilities end up with me dead, two end up with millions dead, and one ends up with me being unemployed.

Sorry not sorry Team A and B, sacrifices must be made.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Quickly move the switch while on track, then hope the paths willl be wide enough to stop the trolley.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Fuck the metro I guess.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 days ago

there might be an argument that JavaScript kills more than a nuclear bomb

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 days ago (5 children)

I'd take my odds with the bottom track.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Now how do I get it to drift over everything but teams a and b?

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Am I also in range of the nuclear bomb, or am I safe? Unclear as the image doesn't specify if it is drawn to scale or not. Also which direction are the tracks currently pointing.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 days ago

I think I’ll take my chances with the bomb

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

Assuming it is in the US, at 4.5 million it can only be San Francisco/Oakland/Berkeley.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

would the bomb also kill javascript and C++ or would I have to keep throwing trolleys at it until I get both silicon valley and the JS/C++ devs?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago (1 children)

At that distance it also kills you, so it sounds like a good deal. No regrets.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

I like those odds

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

There is at least one user here in the superposition of being on two tracks at once.

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