Private messaging. We used to all use an open protocol to message each other (email) and now everyone is fractured into proprietary closed centralized messengers.
this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2025
132 points (97.1% liked)
Ask Lemmy
27401 readers
2032 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected] or [email protected]
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Hitting a button and the TV turns on.
For most of the 2010s I was optimistic about how cool cell phones were going to be. Instead they're almost all basically the same phone/camera/web browser and I can't find anything that even has the same features as my 2016 model let alone new ones. There's foldables I guess but from what I've seen that's not particularly useful.
Peace
Flying. Ever seen those pictures where people would dress their sunday best and climb into a dual turbo prop prestine silver tube up stairs on the tarmak? Beautiful stewardesses dressed in blue with matching hats.
Compare to now. Last I "flew" they gave my seat away and I had to fly the next day with a 3 hour layover. Perhaps I'm romanticizing, but I'd love to try the old way.
OkCupid used to be the best for finding matching people: they crowdsourced thousands of relevant multiple choice questions from which you built your search filter: which answers you accept, how important each is to you, and a voluntary explanation. The questions and match results were factored into friendship, dating, and sex.
Then Match Group bought it. First they let it be, but then they:
- removed the factoring - no more looking for friends or sex, only complete packages
- removed search - no more finding the best matches anywhere on the planet, now you just swipe like Tinder
- removed keyword search - no more finding rare interests not included in the questions, like "furry"
- removed the search filter - now everything has to be the same to match: both of you must have or not have tattoos for example, never mind what you like - one of my likes went from 95% to 50% match
- deleted the voluntary explanations without warning, so no one could back theirs up
- deleted ~95% of the match questions without warning
- deleted all accumulated likes, which were my best matching people around the world with the maximum couple/friend/sex partner potential except location for now. I had the links saved, but they broke all of them.
- they delete matches (mutual likes) if they haven't been messaging in a while, as if that meant they're not a match - no, we're just distant for now
- they police inconvenient statements in the users' introductions as the political situation evolves - the day after the mass murderer CEO got shot, the section in my profile containing "fuck the healthcare system - make a better one" was deleted without sending me a copy to edit
Avoid the whole Match Group.
Now that I think of it, the destruction of OkCupid looks like a politically motivated attack against the minorities and intellectual power users who used to flock there.
Oh snap, I met my wife on OKC before these changes. I believe Match had already bought them out but it was before the changes like you mentioned.
I remember it being the superior online matchmaking service at the time.
RIP
Since I started using Lemmy, I've wondered if a federated dating platform could ever work. Obviously you would have to solve the problem of low user numbers though...
Unless it is a dating platform for tech savvy gay/bi men specifically, it would also have to solve the problem of even lower numbers of women who are users. Even non-fed dating platforms struggle to reach a 10:1, men:women ratio of active, non-bot users.
As a woman (just have to phrase it that way), good luck to any who try. Personally, I can't think of anything that would entice me to sign up for a federated dating platform.
Make the men moderate each other's first messages. You need 3 out of five thumbs up before that first message even goes through. You have to rate five messages before you can try to send one. Make them see how many fucking weirdos there are and hopefully make them behave a little better to begin with by being self conscious about what five other dudes are gonna see. You want five other dudes to see your dick pic on the off chance 3/5 will upvote it? Good fucking luck. Don't listen to me I just worked for a week in a hospital without running water my brain is a smoothie.
I really miss the quizzes though. You could also make it so that you can limit your visibility to a threshold of question matching. I reconnected with the guy thought was cool in group therapy a year later when we were both doing much better because we were a 98% match. I didn't pursue it at the time because meeting a partner in group therapy is a terrible idea particularly because you're that fresh into recovery but it kind of vaguely felt like a missed connection. Turns out it was because we're the same fucking person. A year later we were both doing much better and I get this message on OKC like "weird question - did we meet at (the fucking psych hospital we did outpatient at)" and he's probably the only person in the history of ever that that line would ever work for. Thanks OKC!
Also: and I say this as a crazy bitch who just got into gnosticism / esoteric Christianity, you need to include star signs. Idgaf if you think it's fake or not (I myself am mostly in it for the cool rocks) but its already been said in this comment chain that attracting female users is gonna be rough. You need to be willing to meet people where they're at (this also includes UI btw my female friends think a lot of fedi looks sketchy and don't wanna be putting their photos in it). I've been able to make so many more female friends now that I know what my ascendant is and I'm not sure I even put the right birth time in so there's a good chance it's not even my real one. Its like saying you're a packers fan or your favorite Linux distro. It's a short set of words that quickly identify ingroups and outgroups and provides a noncommitally vague description of your personality. Just get off your high horse and roll with it we're trying to get you laid here.
You have way more faith in humanity than I do. I think after 1-2 and the novelty wears off, a lot of people would just thumbs up without reading.
And even if people stay diligent in rating first comments, it will take 0.2 seconds for bad actors to realize they can just save their bullshit for message #2.
I don't hate this.
There's an open source one called Alovoa. I haven't tried it yet myself, but it's there.
I know it's on FDroid, though I haven't checked any other app store for it yet
load more comments
(1 replies)
Cadbury chocolates, Fuck Kraft Carmelo doesn't taste good at all, and their eggs have gone from the size of a chicken egg to the size of a Robin's egg while somehow tasting worse
In that time period the costs of cocoa have skyrocketed due to blight, climate change, and legal efforts to reduce slavery in the harvesting of cocoa. Most mass market chocolate brands were harmed by this.
view more: next ›