The fine print: C#
this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2024
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Brilliant!
The awakening: holyC
Back-cover synopsis: Swift
I tried to think of something funny to add to this, but all I could think of was "javascript".
Well, in the world of esoteric candidates, there would be some easy ones, like Brainfuck or Shakespeare, but maybe Whitespace is enough of them in the list.