this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2023
944 points (97.5% liked)

Programmer Humor

32380 readers
1315 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 34 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 79 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Any mention of a server room reminds me of the fable of the guy, we'll call him Mike, who unplugged the Internet.

I can't remember where I read it, I think it was greentext on Reddit years ago.

So Mike is an intern, and due to some weird circumstances he becomes the only network admin in the building. Well, one day he doesn't esnt feel like working, so on his way in, he stops by the server room and unplugs the internet.

He then goes to his desk like a normal day. Then he starts getting phone calls. Everybody is freaking out because there is no Internet. So he begrudgingly descends into the server room and starts playing video games on his phone.

Close to the end of the day, he plugs the Internet back in and ascends a hero to the employees because they think he's been working hard all day to give them internet.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I never realized how versatile a program Adobe Reader is.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

The savior of mankind. We are not worthy.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Oooh it's been a while, time for a re-read :D

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Why the link doesn't work for me?

[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I know this is just a joke but why would he be calling HR instead of security?

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago

They're a programmer, do you expect them to know anything about security? Those are the people that "SELECT %s FROM foo"

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

He's new around here

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Until very recently, I wasn't sure my company had security.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I now consider my shaggy beard and unkempt long hair part of my resume.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The interviewer can tell by smell, look, and neck beard alone the senior Linux architect.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

I definitely don't smell when going to interviews. But yeah, the rest is true.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

"I know that guy! He is me."

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago

Oh, look. Richmond's still alive.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is where another one of your pied piper boxes would go

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That show was uncannily accurate

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

No joke, I literally know a sysadmin who has a similarly "generic" English name, talks with the same sort of cadence, and even looks similar. I actually clipped that quote from the episode and set it as my notification when he texts me lol.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

I feel attacked.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

What is the senior architect doing in the server room, that's the purview of the networking grunts

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Communing with his lesser minions.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Senior architect. Is that high? With title inflation the real deal is the super ultra mega architect.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Not really. 1 or 2 promotions. Can't forget lead architect, senior lead, principal architect, senior principal architect, distinguished architect, senior distinguished architect, and architecture fellow.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Beyond Architecture Fellow is Architecture Dude then you circle back to Jr. Architect 1

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I had made an mmo guild where the highest rank and the lowest where the same but the highest was capitalized.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

OMG this is so true. We have consultant specialist, senior consultant specialist, and lead consultant specialist. Guess what happens when a lead consultant specialist gets a promotion? Senior lead consultant specialist.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Not only does the title need a prefix, but also a suffix: Supreme leader architect of The Holy Roman Empire

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Oh, I know that guy... He's me

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

A building I used to work in got locks put on the bathroom doors because one of our senior devs would go out for a walk in ragged gym clothes and wash up in the bathroom when he got back, and someone from another company saw him in there and mistook him for a homeless person.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Delivery is too obvious. It just doesn't click.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Concordantly.