this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2024
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You know, like "always split on 18," or "having kids is the most rewarding thing you can do in life."

What's that one bit of advice you got from a trusted friend that you know deep, deep down would just ruin your thing?

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[–] [email protected] 137 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (5 children)

"Just be yourself"

Ask any neurodivergent person how that goes.

We mask because we are often punished for being ourselves most of the time.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Can relate, when I start infodumping or talking in depth about stuff I enjoy I can see their eyes glaze over and they want to leave.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

i mean, if its any comfort, my eyes glaze over and I want to leave anytime anyone even starts to talk to me, cause I cant stand social interaction, much less having to look at peoples faces to show i'm "engaged"

[–] [email protected] -2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Why would this give anyone comfort?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

It may give comfort to someone feeling socially rejected because, knowing that's something that happens, they may now re-evaluate their previous experience as not having been rejected for having themselves especifically, but because the person they were talking to was dying inside out of their own inertia.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago

As a religious trans person, it's deeply insulting how many anti-trans religious authorities say things like "don't let the world tell you who you are, trust in the voice of God in your own heart" or something, and then go all surprised Pikachu when I'm still trans afterwards.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

See also: “Just do (whatever task you’re struggling with).”

As if it’s as easy as that for everyone.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

I told my mum once that I hate washing the dishes.

"Just wash up!" was the response. Yeah, cheers, mum. Didn't think of that one.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Growing up I was constantly told to try to be like someone else, because I'm too weird.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

It depends with whom you are yourself with. If you're with other neurodivergent people, absolutely just be yourself, that tends to work well a lot of the time, at least in my experience.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

I wasnt diagnosed with ADHD until I was in my 30s. By that time, masking had long since been instinctive to protect myself from other people. I have to feel very very safe around someone before I feel comfortable enough to start unmasking a bit because of the heinous things people did to me. That is what 30 years of trauma and abuse does and you do not fix that in an instant.