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Jamaican patties. You can pick up a big box of them frozen from almost anywhere (at least where I live) and heat them up in one minute. I mentioned to a Gen Z in the fall that this got me through many a college all-nighter and noticed when I was at their place last weekend, they were all stocked up! Feels good to pass on the torch…
Just to elaborate a bit on why I consider these the quintessential lazy food, I went through a process of whittling down the options. In the all-nighter context, you will need to use the bathroom several times in the wee hours (no pun intended), and a patty will be ready for you by the time you come out. They come individually wrapped, and while it's a good idea to have a plate or bowl under them to catch any crumbs, you can typically eat them straight out of the packaging with little mess and dust off the plate each time. So your sink will not start piling up even as you work through as many as it takes.
A friend suggested pizza pockets as an alternative? I tried that. I found them a bit messier and the mozzarella can sometimes stick to the roof of your mouth and burn if you're not paying attention (which is quite likely while you're cramming). Anyway, a well-stocked store will have at least a few choices in terms of protein and spice level for variety's sake.
Now that I'm not as frequently under a desperate time-crunch but am still lazy, my go-to at work is Indian curries in little shelf-stable pouches. You need to pour the curry into a bowl and heat it up, so there are dishes involved, but they taste so good for so little effort otherwise!