this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2024
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[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (9 children)

My mom was diagnosed with Ekbom Syndrom. She's been forced into early retirement because of it, but she doesn't have retirement, she's pulled out from it too many times.

I'm terrified I won't be able to support us both. I make only 62k, and I'm still paying off student loans from 20 years ago.

I wish I had other family to help me with the costs, but there's no one. I do have a brother, but he doesn't work and has spent the last 20 years living with my mom and playing video games. She was supporting them both. And don't think he's helping to care for her either.

I've talked her into moving states so that she's near me and I can help her more with stuff, so we're selling her very dilapidated house this summer. Because my brother destroys thing and she doesn't have the funds for upkeep, I don't think she'll be getting much from the sale.

My mom has been telling my brother she's going to buy him a house and I had to be the one to sit him down and tell him he'll be lucky to get a trailer, because she doesn't have any money. Once we sell her current house, that's it. She'll have that to buy something of her own, and if there's something leftover and I can't talk her out of it, maybe he'll get something for 50k.

I look at other friends with ailing parents and see the help they have from their siblings or family members, and I writhe with jealousy. Meanwhile my mom is digging imaginary parasites from her arms and feels like I think she's crazy.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Parent care is incredibly difficult.... the exhaustion, always feeling like you're failing, .... I followed a couple of Reddit subs while we were caring for our moms and that was a nice outlet to vent without judgement. Try to take time for yourself, even if it's just a walk outside to let your brain relax.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Can I ask which subs you followed? It would be nice to speak to others who understand. I still use reddit on my desktop.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

I followed r/dementia and i think either r/caregivers or r/caregiversupport.

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