this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2024
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I think I got a crush on my dance instructor. Which fucking sucks for all the obvious reasons. Normally I wouldn't be so worried. BUT I JUST HAD A GODDAMN ROMANTIC DREAM ABOUT HER. Seriously I just woke up from a dream about her confessing her love to me and me eagerly doing the same about her.

So how do you stop a crush from developing further? Because this is a well from which only disappointment may be drawn.

Edit: I am single btw.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (2 children)

If she is a dance instructor, she is probably no stranger to having her pupils develop feelings for her.

But this just makes it worse. Cause you're probably right. Which would make me feel even more like a schmuck. Yeah I think I'm just gonna go find a new instructor.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Agreed. Coming out to a crush has never helped me personally as it was pretty evident they weren't showing as much interest in me as I had in them. For me, crushes have always happened when my exposure to the person was one-sided/parasocial (as seems to have been the case in your lesson). I have found that the most effective way to prevent this is to get to know people that excite you on a personal level before a crush can develop. This usually means enthusiastically trying to interact with them moment I notice them and abandoning them if it does not work out — instead of watching them for a while and then deciding whether to approach.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Maybe you could get a new instructor, but tell the current one why, and say you just feel it's right to move on.

Then, if there's any reciprocating feelings you might find out. And if not, at least you're already moving on.