this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2023
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Probably the most amusing example is strawberries: it's essentially impossible to grow them without using non-organic pesticides (and there are such things as organic pesticides despite the near-universal but incorrect belief that "organic" means "no pesticides") so the USDA allows them to be labelled "organic" if they're grown with non-organic methods but then replanted and treated organically for a few days before being harvested and shipped to market.
I imagine the USDA as a tired underpaid fast-food employee that has to deal with moronic entitled customers.
- "I want an organic strawberry!"
- "I already explained to you that strawberries cannot be grown without non-organic pesticide."
- "Are you telling me no?!"
- "I'm telling you that what you want is agriculturally impossible."
- "Do you have any idea who I am!?"
- "Ugh.... you know what? Okay."
* Takes a perfectly regular "non-organically" grown strawberry.
* Slaps an "organic" label on it.
- "Here you go. One organic strawberry. Thank you for shopping with USDA!"
- "Was that so hard?"