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Tell his wife that he loved her, because love is "gay" and "feminine"
Firstly, audibly expressing your heterosexuality isn't gay.
Secondly, there is nothing feminine about 2 guys loving each other, they are both guys so it's the most masculine sexual/romantic pairing.
To be fair, having sex with women is pretty gay. They're girly, weak and smell nice.
Nothing more masculine than two smelly men fucking each other in the arse. Dominating this guy who's just as strong if not stronger than you, then enduring the pain of Big Jim's rod penetrating you, because you're a manly man who's made of tougher stuff.
Fucking women is gay because women like men and liking men is gay
Fellas, is it gay to use lube for anal?
You're not a true man until you sand it up.
Probably still less painful than figging.
Ugh. Off to Urban Dictionary I go.
Edit: Inserting peeled ginger into the anus. Ok, I'd heard of this with horses, it's even mentioned in one of Sir Terry Pratchett's books. Id not heard of people doing it to themselves or each other but I'm not surprised."
Real super straight hetero male masc men use blood (but no tears as crying is gay) as lube when fucking bros.
Not if it's 5W30 Valvoline.