this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2023
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[–] [email protected] 169 points 11 months ago (19 children)

Tell his wife that he loved her, because love is "gay" and "feminine"

Firstly, audibly expressing your heterosexuality isn't gay.
Secondly, there is nothing feminine about 2 guys loving each other, they are both guys so it's the most masculine sexual/romantic pairing.

[–] [email protected] 72 points 11 months ago (2 children)

To be fair, having sex with women is pretty gay. They're girly, weak and smell nice.

Nothing more masculine than two smelly men fucking each other in the arse. Dominating this guy who's just as strong if not stronger than you, then enduring the pain of Big Jim's rod penetrating you, because you're a manly man who's made of tougher stuff.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 11 months ago

Fucking women is gay because women like men and liking men is gay

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (3 children)

enduring the pain of Big Jim's rod penetrating you,

Fellas, is it gay to use lube for anal?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You're not a true man until you sand it up.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Probably still less painful than figging.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

figging

Ugh. Off to Urban Dictionary I go.

Edit: Inserting peeled ginger into the anus. Ok, I'd heard of this with horses, it's even mentioned in one of Sir Terry Pratchett's books. Id not heard of people doing it to themselves or each other but I'm not surprised."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Real super straight hetero male masc men use blood (but no tears as crying is gay) as lube when fucking bros.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Not if it's 5W30 Valvoline.

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