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It's less about having the language and more about agreeing on the specifics of what language we do have. That's not gatekeeping, just categorization. Mildly useful but people calling it "gatekeeping" is exactly why it wouldn't be helpful to try to define it in practice (don't mean to attack you, just taking an example).
As I said though, what language are we lacking that we don't already have?
Well, the easiest example is that some people use "trans" to mean anyone who has physicslly started to transition, others consider someone to be trans when they decide to broadcast their new gender identity, and others consider them to have always been trans. The opinion on which one is correct is often quite strong.
You could define it as "anyone who says they're trans is trans" and avoid this entire issue, which is largely what the relevant laws do (unless they're weirdly invasive), but that opens up the system for abuse by bad actors looking to false flag the trans community.
I haven’t seen any gatekeeping to exclude those that haven’t gone through physical transition, but I guess there are assholes everywhere.
There's a whole branch of trans gatekeepers called transmed/truscum that do exactly that!