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I saw a woman being grabbed and angry whispered at the fair. She looked scared and was much smaller than the guy. She had three kids and it was just awful to watch.
But it was in a crowd, and no one was reacting. We locked eyes and to my shame I didn't do anything. Not an excuse, but I am a smaller woman, I had my kid with me and my husband who is larger was in another area of the fair. I felt scared if that man was comfortable doing that to her, openly , in public and in front of the kids, would be hit me if I tried to intervene? And how to intervene? Would I make it worse for her. I couldn't figure out what to do, so I did nothing. By the time my husband got back, I had lost sight of them.
I still remember the two youngest kids, around my daughter's age, being unphased, but the older kid looking scared and embarrassed. The woman looking resigned and sad. It really bothers me and I always thought I would stand up on that situation.
You were dealing with some 3D chess problem there, especially with kids on both ends... I am a dad, and I don't even know how I would have handled that on my own even without my kid around. I know it sucks, but you can't beat yourself too much on this one
Having your partner around sure helps. We had a crazy racist Karen situation once in a parade in our neighborhood, where this woman questioned whether we belonged in that particular spot since she had been "reserving" it by putting her stuff all over the place for hours. She heard my wife's accent and started berating her about "where's she from?" (We are both immigrants but she's more obvious in terms of accent). I had our kid on my shoulders, so I just made a calmly toned comment of "we live on this exact street" and directed my kid's attention away from the racism and towards the fun parade, while my wife proceeded to call her shit out. The woman had two kids there and didn't give a fuck, proceeded to go on racist rant against my wife (who very well stood her ground) while her own kids were crying their hearts out in fear over the confrontation. End result was all the adults had a shitty time, but at least all my kid remembers is a cool parade....
And for anyone from New Orleans feeling like this sounds familiar, yeah, it was Mardi Gras, and some fancy lady from the Garden District thought we should have not had the audacity to try to get too close to St Charles for our kid to see the Muses parade