this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2023
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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

If you're an adult who is out of school - through organized hobbies.

For me, I like D&D and other RPGs. I moved to a new neighborhood of my city this year and pinged the Discord server of a local game store to organize some games. I was able to get several groups of people together over the next few months, all of whom had a lot in common (gamers), and out of those groups I've made two good friends who I now regularly hang out with in a non-gaming way.

Physical activities that happen in a central location are also great. Rock climbing gyms, adult beer leagues and meetups for activities are some examples.

Basically if you're too socially awkward to just randomly start talking to strangers, try to find a setting that strangers show up to with the primary goal of wanting to do an activity together. Then use interaction during that activity to feel out people who you could be friends with.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

My thing is that I don't ever convert the people I do activities with into friends. I'm too focused on the activity. My brain can't multitask like that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Same, I tried to go on a date to a barcade and the guy was like "are we vibing" and I was just like.. uhh we've just played games this entire time? I feel like I still don't know you.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't get to go on many dates, but I imagine a barcade isn't a great first date option. That would be more for once you already know eachother right?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I thought so too? People and therapists always advise "try new things!" so I tried something that most people here do which are activity based dates. Most people here like want you do something with them instead of just going out to eat and actually getting to know each other.

But yeah it's not for me as I already imagined. To me, it also seems like something you'd do on at least like second date.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah really my issue is getting people with similar interests and things I guess , I am a bit socially awkward tho I’ve never had trouble making surface level friends, I do gotta try harder in that regard tho going out and actually trying lol thank you!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Check out MeetUp or similar services. I have a friend that moved to a new city and made a bunch of acquaintances and a couple of good friends by just trying out different groups based on her interests.