Ask Lemmy

Orgy of the Dead starts off like it's going to be your standard weird bad Ed Wood horror movie. We get to meet Criswell, who you might recognize as inspiration for a character in Fright Night among others. There's also an Elvira type character before Elvira did it better. But then suddenly it's just a topless woman go-go dancing in a fake graveyard. The whole thing suddenly feels like an softcore porn parody of a Gilligan's Island episode. The scene ends, and you might think "Gee, maybe they'll move on to a different location or move the plot along somehow?" Nope, you get a short narration scene and then the next woman comes out with a slightly different costume and dance, still topless though. That scene ends and you think "Well they can't possibly do that again, so maybe now the 'plot' will move along." Nope! More narration, and another topless dancing woman. By the third girl I was bored. But it was funny again with the fourth. With the fifth woman, I gritted my teeth and thought, "When will this end?" But, by the seventh dancing topless woman it was hilarious. Each one of these dancing girls was almost identical, just slightly different slutty costumes and music. At some point they introduce a Zombie and a Wolf man character to leer at the women along with jerk boyfriend and scared girl tied to a post. After it was clear that the ninth topless dancing girl was the last, I felt immense relief and raised a glass to that mad genius Criswell. Those 92 minutes felt like days. This is not a movie to watch sober and alone during the day.