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Surely there are no hard and fast rules in any relationship. It works for some, and not for others. Instead of looking for a universal rule, from which to judge the 'quality' of your relationship, you need to communicate your needs and opinions to your SO and come to a mutual solution. You also get to decide if that solution is what you need in an SO. Surprise, so does she. Incompatible means incompatible, unfortunately, but better to get it out in the open and part ways amicably than get burdened with a civil union and a messy breakup.
honest, well-thought out, and unbiased answer