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30M After divorce I got literally zero support from anyone, why? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I got divorced like 5 months ago after a 9 years with this girl who cheated on me, emotionally abused me, etc etc

I've been suicidal since the split, getting worse by the day still, and literally nobody ever asked if I was OK, aside from my mom. Even when I begged close friends for support they basically just ghosted me. My ex is surrounded by support, from the same people who I thought were my best friends.

Do I just have shitty people around me or is this just what guys deal with? The attitude towards me is just "get over it". I've lost almost everyone I'm close to because of this and I'm starting to think there might actually be one viable option of getting over it because existing is simply torture. All of 2025 felt like just a bad dream but it's unfortunately real.

Edit: Yes I have a counselor - a very good one I see weekly.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I split with my ex of 10 years (together while I was 18 thru 29ish) and took for granted what support I did have. I'm lucky to have had parents and adult siblings on my side.

You're doing a heavier lift than I had to. I'd have been in a bad place if I had no support. You were dealt a shitty hand. But the support is there, and you're on the right track to healing by seeing your therapist. Future you will be able to look back and see this for the learning experience it is. Today my wife and I tease past-me about some red flags I ignored about my ex.

I want to share Tragedy + Time by Rise Against with you. It may come across as intended for the bereaved, but its words do not gatekeep feelings based on the cause of them. (It says "she" once but don't get hung up on the gender.) In fact, I am tearing up right now at the thought that you, feeling what you feel, might find some solace in it.