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People tend to side with the woman in a separation. Its the side effect of a patriarchal spciety: Toxic Masculinity. Men are just expected to have no emotions and can handle everything on their own, which isn't true at all.
I feel the same. My parents tells me I need to "stop crying because I'm not being 'manly' enough". Like, bruh I have a fucking existential crisis and disagnose depression and really wanna kms right now. So I get it.
The Left hasn't doen enough to address the issues that men are facing, which is why the alt-right pipeline is so ripe for picking off boys to their fascist agenda. But please, remember, fascists aren't your friends, no matter what they say. Plese don't fall for the alt-right pipeline, my friend.
I think the left just needs to recalibrate their priorities. Society issues can only be solved with true Egalitarianism that supports both Men and Women.
I fell into alt right when she started abusing me which helped destroy the relationship. I got out of that shit.
That might have contributed to your friends ghosting you, depending on the friend group. You may have been legitimately grieving due to various reasons, but it might not have been perceived that way by your friend group.
I don't know the full details of your interactions, but I could easily see that being a red flag for some of your friends.
Good, because a lot of the alt right influencers prey on people like you were in your predicament. I'm sorry you went down that rabbit hole.
I place a lot of blame on myself for how things turned out but I'm pretty sure the reality is that I am not that person at all and would have never made said mistakes if she wasn't so mean to me.
I'm glad you got out of that but I think we figured out why your friends stopped supporting you. You have reaped what you've sewn. Your actions had consequences.
Now that you're free of both the relationship and the toxic mindset it would be a good time to pick up some hobbies that would encourage meeting and making new friends.
Lol in real life people dont care about politics that much
A leftist response to the alt-right pipeline starts with men. It would take a ton of emotional labor, but at-risk boys simply aren’t going to listen to women the way they will listen to men.
This brings a conundrum, as women are generally much more practiced at emotional labor than men are. They aren’t naturally better, they don’t choose to take it on, but they are conditioned to deal with it in a way that most men aren’t. That’s why women tend to have support networks that are there for them in times of difficulty, but many men don’t. Again, it’s not inherent nor a choice, but a complex result of society and circumstance.
Point is, if you’re a man and you’re waiting around for someone else to start lifting up men and boys, you’re going to be waiting a long time. As cliché as it is, you have to be the change you want to see in the world. Have some male friends you haven’t talked to in a while? Message them, ask them how they’ve been, and don’t be scared to get deep about things.
A support network starts with connecting two points, and if you don’t make the effort to build and maintain it, it’s not going to happen.
I feel like it's weird to say "the left isn't doing enough for men" when the left is full of men who are struggling with the same thing. They grew up in the same society, filled with the same outdated "suck it up" mentality.
So I appreciate you calling out the issue of younger men not being in a place to listen to women, and the issue of men in general not being in a place to emotionally support their fellow men. It's not a left vs right thing, it's that most men are simply ill-equipped to handle emotional labor due to these outdated cultural norms, and yet those same men are naturally the primary providers of support for other similarly ill-equipped men.
Just because the alt right is pretending to care about the needs of men doesn't mean the left is worse at this. The alt right isn't standing up for men, they're using vulnerable men as a means to an end, and replacing "suck it up" with "blame women and leftists". They're not telling you how to truly process your emotions with patience and care, they're just shifting the blame.
There's plenty of men on the left that serve as excellent role models, they just don't spend their time constantly talking about their gender, because a large part of evolving past these outdated cultural norms about gender is actually moving past these cultural norms about gender.
This means viewing people and their problems as human first before viewing them as . The majority of people who constantly fill the airwaves about "what it's like to be a man" are actually just men who are still desperately clinging to those same self-destructive norms. They perpetuate this divide between genders, and leave their fellow men feeling alone and misunderstood and vulnerable to manipulation.
It definitely is not a left vs right thing. The context of my comment was simply "a response to the alt-right pipeline." That's the most that political alignment matters in this situation.
Is the advice in my comment wrong? I'm a woman who's been watching the alt-right chew up and spit out boys for a while. My power to do anything about it is limited, because (if online) as soon as such a young man learns that I'm female, they have a ready-made reason to ignore everything I say. If in-person, they would dismiss me before I even speak. I do a lot of activism and speaking to build community and support local causes, but this is one arena that I can't even enter. The nature of this issue invalidates me from the get-go.
What else can I do except encourage men to step up and do the activism that I wish I could do?
Not at all, I meant it when I said I appreciated your comment! I was just adding my own thoughts to the conversation.
It's really hard for most people - man or woman - to make any headway in this arena precisely becase of the points you made. These poor men are very effectively primed to only respond well to traditionally masculine role models and talking points, and yet it is that very same traditional masculinity that is holding them back.
I just wanted to clarify in the context of the OP why they might feel like "the left isn't doing enough," and why that is actually just a part of the alt-right pipeline working as designed.
Ah, I see. I appreciate the clarification!