this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2023
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 171 points 1 year ago (4 children)

The werewolf I understand entirely. They’re both awkward, horny kids trying to find their place. The century old vampire creeping on a teenager is where it gets weird.

[–] [email protected] 107 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

The werewolf "imprints" on Bella's unborn vampire baby later in the series, so fortunately the scales of creepiness end up balanced between Team Edward and Team Jacob.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

She didn't know how else to resolve the local wolf/vampire conflict so she could escalate the threat level to the euro trash vampires.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Casually outting yourself as having read the books.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

All of them, sadly. Didn't watch the movies though, I can't re-live the trauma.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Me too, buddy. Me too.

I read them alongside a friend and met up for coffee to discuss after; we devoured them as they came out and about ¾ of the way through the final book we both just said "What the fuck are we reading?"

Stephanie Meyer knows how to make you turn pages.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What's the problem with that? I would assume most people of tween/teen reading age did in the time they were popular. They were a phenomenon.

Casually outing yourself as hating things teenage girls like.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was casually outting myself as having read them too lol.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Then no need to feel embarrassed about something you might have enjoyed at the time! :)

We're allowed to like what we like, especially as kids. Give your younger self a break lol

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

But... my younger self regretted it? Look, okay I hated on Twilight before it was cool. Y'all just copycats. I'm going to my room!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

He literally falls in love with a god damn fetus

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, this is the part I can't get past. WTF is Edward doing creeping around underage girls all the time?

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I always assumed vampires are sort of stuck their age mentally as well, for the most part. They can get more wisdom and knowledge but emotionally and sexually they're whatever age they got turned in. So a 200 year old vampire that got turned at 17 is basically a 17 year old in that way.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sounds like something a vampire pedo would say.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hey now! That's actually hebophilia. Thank you very much.

/s

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

More like haemophilia if you ask me

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

So where does that leave 2000 year old vampire lolis?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Dead because in twilight the Volturi kill child vampires.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

I suppose that's why Twilight never had an anime adaptation.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

That's a pretty good theory. It still skeeves me out though

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Tbf when you're a centuries old vampire, everyone's too young for you

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

Not particularly. If you’ve ever discussed anything of substance with an amateur colleague in your field, you might find novelty in the fresh perspective or even some minor nostalgia. When they meet, Bella is less than a colleague of life. She is a strangely shaped Labrador, which is fitting in that he grooms the shit out of her.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

You could at least stick to young adults and older instead of high schoolers

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

The original "What we do in the shadows" addressed that pretty well, when protagonist started dating his old crush when she's a 70+ year-old woman and has to apologize for being a bit too old for her.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

And who would have expected that Jacobs place happened to be in prison, where he should go after falling in love with a literal newborn

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

it's not his FAULT your honor he couldn't HELP but form a love bond with an unborn vampire baby your honor you'd understand if you were a werewolf your honor