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One that constantly comes up between me and my partner is fashion related. She is very liberal but when it comes to our relationship is the exact opposite. She buys everything from lacy thongs and g-strings to boy shorts underwear. She hates that I as a man wear thong and bikini underwear, too. I’m athletic, lift and workout 5 days a week, and get hot very easily. I like the support and minimalism of thongs for that, but she always buys me boxers which are uncomfortable and bunch up and all the extra fabric and cotton makes me hot and sweaty and chafe. When I bring up she wears thongs just do she doesn’t have panty lines and I wear them for comfort and support she doesn’t understand. She also mentioned she thinks guys wearing thongs is weird but then says it’s so “brave” when gay guys do it during pride. I once called her out and homophobic for assuming it’s a fetishized gay guys only thing and she got mad, but am I wrong?
She chooses for image. She's sympathetic. But, she's no empathy for you valuing different facets in your choice. Is it just underwear or does this extend to more, possibly all choices?
We agree on the overwhelming majority of important things (politics, cleanliness, nutrition, children) but obviously we have different tastes within those areas, I love cashews, she hates them, I prefer lifting weights, she prefers Pilates, etc… This is just the one weird thing we get hung up on.
This is more like her insisting you not eat cashews, because she hates cashews.
Only in this case her hate is homophobic/transphobic. Women can wear boy stuff. And men can, in theory, wear 'queer' stuff. As long as it's not her partner doing it.
Women love feminine men, but they won't date one.
Yeah, it’s very strange. They talk about masculinity like it’s a negative trait but then that’s all they want in a relationship. Nature > Nurture
Which leaves men playing this crazy game where we need to be very masculine but never acknowledge it.
What’s crazy is I started “squaring up” on my spouse in the same way I would before fighting someone, I.e. standing upright, puffing out chest, flexing my lats out and staring down at her just for fun sometimes and I can tell in instant change in her body language where she gets turned on. I also started doing this with female friends randomly that I have no interest in, but just testing out how they respond. I would say like 70% of the time they end up touching you in some way, not sexually but like moving to my side and grabbing my arm and leaning into me. I’m surprised I don’t hear about this more. I think it’s a biological response.