Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Please don't post about US Politics.
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
Assuming a healthy, loving relationship:
Advantages
You always have someone in your corner. Someone who will stand next to you and face whatever comes. Someone who will listen to your fears and anxieties, and reassure you. Someone who can take one look at your face and know that you need a hug, or a tickle monster attack, or a cup of tea.
You have someone who considers you vital to their happiness. You're the person in their corner. You get to love, support, and nurture them just as they do for you.
You have a built-in partner for things like camping, traveling, going to trivia night at the local bar. Someone who will bring you a beer when you're too lazy to get up from the couch. Someone who you can make smile just by bringing them coffee in bed.
You can be yourself! They love you just the way you are, you lil weirdo.
The stability that comes from a relationship with mutual respect, cooperation, and negotiation is really comforting.
Disadvantages
You lose some spontaneity for doing things solo, because you need to check with your partner to make sure you don't already have plans.
Sometimes you have to hide snack foods if you hope to get your fair share. We have a drawer in our fridge that didn't get much use. I started squirreling away cans of sparkling water in there because if I didn't hide them, they'd all be gone by the time I decided I wanted one.
You can get into a rut, but neither one tries to change it on the assumption that the other one is happy that way.
Sometimes they toot in bed π‘
This isn't really inherent to relationships unless you count "friendships", too.
Not all relationships are deeply entangled. I have a partner that makes their own plans without checking with me. We use a calendar to keep track of like "we're doing such and such Friday" so we don't double book or forget, but that kind of "loss of spontaneity" would happen if it was "trivia night with the guys" or "dinner with friend"
So true!
I wish someone had warned me about that.
I specifically wish I had learned the power of the phrase "how is this working for you?" sooner.