this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2024
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What you're complaining about is impossible to do without hosting your own instance. I'm not even talking about Lemmy here, in saying from a software perspective. Like you'd have to have local encryption keys only to prevent a host from reading your messages. And there's no way anyone would just host whatever because the users want it.
I prefer end to end encryption, like in Matrix, Signal, SimpleX, etc. So I don't use Lemmy for PMs since they are not actually private, hell I went quite a while where I stopped using Lemmy because it is not meant for someone interested in their own privacy despite the irony of having multiple privacy focused communities. If someone doesn't want to host instances dedicated to CSAM I could see them wanting to defederate, but so far I've seen defederation used as a temper tantrum. It's always over some stupid drama. If you don't want to host whatever then what is the point of opening your instance to other people? I fail to see why someone would bother going through this trouble and then say no you can't view this community meant for modifying your nintendo switch. Even reddit does not care as much as the instance owners on Lemmy do. It's just baffling. Also good luck deleting your posts and comments. Ugh this convo makes me hate Lemmy again.