How dare I polish and remove kludges from previous releases. 😆
Also, none of those kludges would have even been necessary if the project scope was properly defined from the start and the project manager didn't let the users keep trickling in new requirements without also extending the deadline.
So yeah, how dare I go back and implement something the way it should have been done the first time?
This may shock and amaze you but...
there is more than one user for your product. If you don't know that, it sounds like you either haven't done a user survey or you haven't created the correct user profiles (based on that survey).
Creating a "perfect UI" without asking users what they want is not good UX. It's just masturbation. The user survey tells you that people want A B C, etc. and in which order. You should know exactly how your changes are going to be received when you release them.
Imagine a restaurant that doesn't ask you what you want. Instead the chef tells you "This is the best food possible" and just makes what they want. That's what developing without a user survey is like.
You're taking this far too literally. There's a good bit of hyperbole in play here for the purposes of making a joke.
Next you'll be telling me that's not you in the picture!
Imagine you’re the chef at a restaurant and the guest tells you they want the fluffiest pancace possible, positioned vertically on the plate. In fact, they want three of them, stacked on each others’ rims. And vegan with extra eggs.
And when you finally serve that aneurysm of a dish, they tell you that in their dialect, ‘pancake’ actually means ‘lasagna’.
The Expert: 7 Red Lines
Hopefully the pancake/lasagna garbage could be caught by sharing some wireframes early on?
(Is this unrealistic?)
In fact they want four of them, each perpendicular to all othes
that is exactly how restaurants work. have you ever been to one? you are offered a choice of meals they designed and if you don't like it, well, there is about billion other restaurants you may try, they are not going to start crafting custom meal for you.
You can’t be saying fire the private chef - that’s OP!
I sympathize btw, I sympathize