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I find that these "bare minimum" assertions often crumble upon contact with any real-life scenario
Absolutely. That bare minimum is a distant unreachable fantasy for some married moms I know.
I don’t get it myself. I wanted to be a father for a long time and since I became one I’ve been loving it. Because you know, I wanted the relationship and all that rather than “you’re supposed to have kids.” It’s sad enough when people do that with dogs, never mind tiny vulnerable humans.