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When was the last time you felt helpless in life? (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I'm 24 and dealing with high blood pressure. I've seen five doctors, had countless tests, and they all say the same thing: "Take these pills and try to reduce pressure in your life." It's as though my blood pressure and heart rate have minds of their own, fluctuating freely without any reason.

For the past six months, I've felt like I'm on borrowed time. Every morning, I gulp down my pills, hoping I won't have a stroke or end up disabled. Once, I dared to think I was better and skipped my meds for two days. Unfortunately, on day three, my blood pressure shot up over 150, bringing me crashing back to reality.

I'm not an nihilist, I'm the opposite of that. But facing my own mortality every second of life has hit me hard. Maybe I'm just like a "24 years old kid" tasting life's bitterness for the first time. I hate to compare myself with others, but seeing friends partying, doing drugs, and sipping coffee just makes me hate this fate of mine even more.

I'm an artist, I studied music and wrote lots of songs (only keep them for myself, not trying to be a celebrity or anything like that...), and music has always been my escape. Lately, though, my songs have been pretty dark.

I'm sharing my story not for sympathy, but to connect with anyone else who's going through a same journey in their life. If you've been there and made it out, please tell me how you did it. Any advice, hobby, or habit would help! And if you're still stuck in the trenches like me, just know you're not alone.

P/S: This post has been improved by ChatGPT since I'm not confident in my English.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm in my 30s and feel completely hopeless right now. It comes and goes, I'll be great for a few years then everything collapses for a few. Right now I'm staring down an expensive major surgery, losing a series of very important people in my life, divorce, work burnout. Just got to take it as best you can and try to find some goals to point toward

My current hobbies include doing as many physical activities as I can to keep my mind off things, painting minis, and playing ukulele. Do what you can to have good sleeping habits. My sleep is garbage and it makes everything 10x harder. As always, don't forget to drink water

Seeing people around you partying, having gone through my own drugs and alcohol phase, it's not all that worth it really. At least for me at any rate. I was much happier after I got a better feel for what I actually wanted in life instead of trying to use alcohol to fit in. I was like 27-28 when I figured that out

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Wow. That's a lot to deal with. I wish you the best possible outcome, in all events.

after I got a better feel for what I actually wanted in life instead of trying to use alcohol to fit in. I was like 27-28 when I figured that out.

I stayed to myself for two months, barely went out of my yard, or answered the phone to kick cigarettes. Of course what drinking and the occasional weed I did also went, to make kicking cigarettes easier. I went within, so so deep within. After going out into the world again, I realized: I don't need to fit in -- I certainly don't want to fit in, anymore.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Thank you, I'm slowly working through it. The surgery at least is a good thing even if it is having its way with my savings and the recovery is going to be wild. Been like two years of wait list, delays, prep, and it is coming together in about 6 weeks! After that all goes through I get to start un-fucking the rest of my life x.x

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Aw, that's great and a great attitude. May you and your bank account have a speedy, full recovery. Maybe you'll let me know how you're doing, after, when you're well enough? I'm pulling for you.