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When was the last time you felt helpless in life? (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I'm 24 and dealing with high blood pressure. I've seen five doctors, had countless tests, and they all say the same thing: "Take these pills and try to reduce pressure in your life." It's as though my blood pressure and heart rate have minds of their own, fluctuating freely without any reason.

For the past six months, I've felt like I'm on borrowed time. Every morning, I gulp down my pills, hoping I won't have a stroke or end up disabled. Once, I dared to think I was better and skipped my meds for two days. Unfortunately, on day three, my blood pressure shot up over 150, bringing me crashing back to reality.

I'm not an nihilist, I'm the opposite of that. But facing my own mortality every second of life has hit me hard. Maybe I'm just like a "24 years old kid" tasting life's bitterness for the first time. I hate to compare myself with others, but seeing friends partying, doing drugs, and sipping coffee just makes me hate this fate of mine even more.

I'm an artist, I studied music and wrote lots of songs (only keep them for myself, not trying to be a celebrity or anything like that...), and music has always been my escape. Lately, though, my songs have been pretty dark.

I'm sharing my story not for sympathy, but to connect with anyone else who's going through a same journey in their life. If you've been there and made it out, please tell me how you did it. Any advice, hobby, or habit would help! And if you're still stuck in the trenches like me, just know you're not alone.

P/S: This post has been improved by ChatGPT since I'm not confident in my English.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Got put on BP meds at 15... 15 years later still on them... I tried a bunch of different ones but the one I've been on longest has helped the most. As a child I had a mostly healthy diet and plenty of exercise with sports and extra activities. Guess that means I'll just be taking it daily for life :^(

Edit: forgot to mention I still have near constant palpitations and mildly high BP/heart rate even while on meds AND laying down :^)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

My heart rate isn't always elevated, but when it does... over the roof. I believe those moments might be what they call panic attacks. I've noticed similar instances. Sometimes, I'll be lying in bed, watching YouTube, and suddenly experience palpitations out of nowhere. These random occurrences often worry me the most. Anyway, thank you for sharing your story!