My experience matches yours. I don’t enjoy putting recapcha v3 on my sites but it takes contact form spam from 70-80 messages per day to 0-2.
I’d switch to other services if they could be as effective. If anybody has real-world experience with another option working I’d love to hear it.
“I’m not affiliated with WP Engine” is this nerd generation’s “I’m 18 or older, let me in.”