This is a message to all straight guys: buy gay underwear!
Get yourself on Andrew Christian, Box, or Aussiebum, or any of the other underwear sites that cater to gay men. We have styles of underwear you wouldn't believe. Yes there'll be rainbows on a bunch of them, but there's plenty that are more "reserved".
BUT, what we do have is a wide range of styles that are comfortable and sexy. We have underwear that separates your cock from your balls, which are really comfortable. We have styles that allow you to show off, or act demure. We have boxer shorts that have freaking pockets!
And because the queer community largely (not always, but we're working on it) accepts all body types, we even cater to larger guys who need a little more room in their smalls.
Seriously boys, get yourself some sexy gay undies. Your junk, and your partners, will thank you.
I got to "Money (notes)" as vegetable and thought to myself "of course, because coins would be mineral," then saw the Piggybank as mineral and confirmed my logic.
I still don't understand "dinner service" as mineral? Is it the cutlery?