You discounted space dust.
No I didn't
it would thermalize and radiate.
This is not my paradox, and it's not really a paradox at all, as the big bang model explains it nicely. There are many nice articles on the topic of you'd like to read more about it.
In grad school I picked up a an old free HP LaserJet, with an Ethernet NIC card (it was an upgradable printer, maybe from the mid 2000s?).
It was great! Only complaint was no duplexer, but the thing printed great from Linux and the generic toner was cheap.
Today though...the experience is a bit different.