pipe01

All you'd need to program that ESP32 is an USB to UART adapter, you can get those for pennies on the dollar. I've never used Ethernet on the ESP32 so I can't attest to how easy it would be, however I do know that doing it over WiFi is super simple.

Strip the debug info, should be a lot smaller. Also check out TinyGo, it's meant for embedded devices

Probably cheaper to just use an ESP8266 or the like

No tengo nada*. It's very counterintuitive, but to say you have nothing you must say that you don't have nothing

You could use Tasker to make an automation that checks what the notification's content is, but it's just an ugly workaround

It does say "the policy we announced", not "the announcement"

Just tried it and it's freaking good! So simple too

Yeah fair enough, hopefully with time this will be less of an issue

Wait until you find out how a tank of gasoline fails

Ooh that sounds nice, is it really just honey and Sriracha?

Would appreciate it