Really hard to give advice when there's a lot of factors involved, like:
- how long have you been together with your kid and your second wife?
- did she know what she was signing up to?
- how much time are you dedicating to her vs to the kid?
And then, jealousy is a subjective feeling. Now because you know how she feels, if you are spending basically no time with her then you might be able to carve out some more time for the both of you, but the main part of dealing with the feels is on her. Growing a better connection to you or the kid is also on her. And communication is key. Relationships are hard and complicated, that's why you gotta talk a lot.
No.
You have a kid, but it's your decision.
Sounds like she's trying to skip the part where she fucked up and she should apologize to you and give you some space. Instead she's leaving you an impossible choice.
But you can talk to your son and tell him how much it stings and that you just can't do it. Sure you can "put all the bad blood behind" but it takes two for that and you can't force someone to reconcile by pressuring them with their son and luring them with a paid for vacation.
This makes me mad for you, this is so unfair. No one has to take that offer, and your son will understand. Maybe your ex will understand too, but it looks like she's still too immature to understand right now.