borf

Professional means you do it for money. In which case you need another job

Honestly I don't know what's more soul crushing, the incorrectly added comma or the fact OP still doesn't get it

As a professional virgin loser

You need a new job

When we started dating she had a light-"natural" style of makeup I liked. Ten years later I'm not entirely sure what happened but when she puts on makeup now it's much more extreme and not really attractive to me. It makes her feel pretty which is what matters I guess.

We used to go out for drinks after work once or twice a week

Then a guy got so drunk he puked at the bar, got in a fight with another guy and bit his ear off

The guy was immediately fired obviously but we don't socialize like we used to for some reason

Donnie Darko sequel shit

The intelligence apparatus of the West has gotten up to some hinky things in the past, but 1. Not to the same degree by a long shot when it comes to end user devices (they're far more likely to monitor communications from datacenters and cooperative platforms) and 2. Even if you're already compromised by 1 nation state, why would you want to be compromised by 2?

I miss Chef

Rule of acquisition number 1,337: Embrace, Extend, Extinguish.