Voran

I liked it at 11. Used to annoy teachers doodling eagles and owls on absolutely everything.

What species is this mohawked cutie pie?

Birds are awesome. Loved them even as a kid when it was hopelessly uncool.

Millennial not boomer.

I think it just bothers me that people shove the idea of being this cuddly nurturer at me and don't give a shit if it's what I want.

A chess improvement company once wrote an article about me and although I was deeply grateful for the opportunity I am also very glad I saw the first draft because the reporter invented a whole imaginary child. While cutting a lot of my thoughts about annihilation and how it's a fairly staple tactical skill.

To his credit he removed it when I asked but...ugh. Can people not stay on topic ever? I swear to God I could be in the middle of defusing a bomb and someone would mention husbands or children.

Because what they clearly meant is that I came across as being nothing but help staff.

Christ that's so fucked.

No a very traditional and backwards woman made a comment about how I'd be a good wife for her son who I don't even know.

I don't know how I managed to come across as that much of a worthless cored-out shell.

Someone said I would be a good wife...I felt powerless and degraded. How did I manage to come off as so brainless and lacking in self respect that I'd have nothing better to do than be someone's wife?

And people hound me about how I'll die with cats and desperately regret not having a man to wash smelly socks for.

Marriage is psychological adrenalectomy.

Annoy people by playing the kazoo in the library

Release 10 000 dobsonflies at someone's wedding

Go to a heavy metal concert. Get facial tattoos and a bunch of piercings. Drink far too much Red Bull.

I have a fairly hefty ridge of bone there. Not a lot of sound conduction possible.