Turious

I'm out of the loop on Reddit, but I was beyond a power user on there two years ago. Back then, if every human user on the site stopped using the site, the admins would not have noticed any difference because nearly every post was bot networks reposting old top posts and filling the comments with the exact comments from the last time it got upvoted.

Garbage website. I miss it for what it was capable of for a while there.

I'm not an adventurous person. I haven't been to a sex shop at home in decades so I don't keep up with what's available out there. But on vacation in Tokyo in 2023, I was at a four story sex shop in Akihabara. The top floor is exclusive to men, no women allowed up there. There are all sorts of fuck dolls and the more intense, expensive dude stuff up there.

Now, what I was not mentally prepared for was the glass display case. I don't remember much about what else was in the case but the thing that caught my eye was what I can only call "The Device."

The Device was a very inelegant metal machine that in any other context I would have assumed was some kind of kitchenware. But it had a nozzle on the end and it was incredibly obvious what The Device was there to do. This was not a nice machine, it was a tool with one purpose. I imagine it was incredibly good at that, too.

I was tight on cash for that trip and this thing was listed at 45,000 yen, which was about $375 at the time. I joked with my friends that it would be well worth it. It would have been difficult to get home due to size and I imagine heft. I would have taken The Device back to our rental house and let it suck the soul out of my body. I would have died on that trip and would have had no regrets.

I went back to the same store earlier this year and the glass case had other things in it, The Device nowhere to be found. Someone bought it, took it home, and was claimed by its power. The shelves of the top floors of that shop are now sleek looking plastic and silicon jerk machines that look very user friendly; exactly what you'd expect from a sex toy. But they are probably nothing compared to The Device.

The Karen I grew up around nails the "karen" archetype so perfectly that when people started using the name like that, I immediately understood what they were referring to. It was uncanny.

These years later, even my boomer family all know the reference and agree, regularly point it out to our Karen.

Big Money Salvia on Internet Comment Etiquette makes full on short films for his ad reads. They are pretty great.

Tasty nitrogen.

Otakon registration line, probably about 2014. The line wrapped the Baltimore convention center two times.

Getting comfortable not owning your games?

I was once listening to The Pillows' "I Think I Can" around a friend. Japanese band, lots of their songs are in English but you'd never know through the singer's heavy Japanese accent. He repeats the titular line a lot in the song and my friend thought he was singing "I lick my cunt."

That was 15 years ago and it's still all I hear when I listen to the song.

White vinegar, run them again. All good.

From the looks of the crash test results, I might have to buy one of these to get in on the lawsuits that will come from those who are maimed in accidents with them.

I value my bones too much to bother doing that. But seriously, a lot of people are gonna get hurt.

I've always known he was a real ghoul. On his death, I decided to see if Behind the Bastards had an episode on him. Just a few weeks ago, they finished uploading the sixth episode on him of the series. What timing.

I've listened to them and wow. Knowing his story kinda makes me lose all hope in the decency of people.

Now this is schizoposting.