Pandantic

Where did I say you were a failure? I am just trying to help. But it seems, as angry as you come off on the internet, you are happy with all the things you listed as detrimental to having a partner, which is fine. It’s just so odd that someone so opposed to having a relationship because they are happy with they way they are would even get so involved in a discussion on relationships with no real experience on the topic.

Though I will say, that the fact that you don’t want to improve yourself at all would be a red flag against me dating you. I believe that we should strive to improve ourselves every day - to become better people than we were before - because when you stay the same, you stagnate, which is not beneficial to your health or mental wellbeing.

Anyway, have a great life, good luck! I hope you get everything you deserve in life! ✌️

I didn’t ask the same question, and you avoided answering mine which was: have you tried or have you just considered yourself a failure?

I became friends with a guy like you, and I had money so I took him places and paid for things because we had fun together. Your situation isn’t hopeless, but your attitude is. Yes, if you want to have a relationship, you do have to be personable because that’s the only way someone would want to hang out with you. You listed all the negative things about your situation but nothing about your hobbies, what you like to do. Okay, you don’t like to “go out and have fun” but do you like to stay in and have fun? My friend and I often played video games together, is that an option?

There are detriments on your list that sound negative not only to a potential partner, but to you. Do you want to have a job? Do you want to have your own place? If so, what’s stopping you? I know you were reading that ex-incel post, so you know many people started by focusing on what they wanted to improve in their lives and forgetting about relationships. You are in a negative place, and I will bet that it’s not just about relationships but about yourself.

Btw, my friend is in a poly relationship now, got his GED, moved to his own place, went to trade school, and works at a news station. The most important thing is he is more confident, comfortable with himself as he is, and happy. It’s not impossible, but you do have to do the work.

You’ll probably have an angry response to this, but I don’t want anyone to think they are a lost cause because that’s what their brain is saying and how society makes them feel, so I just wanted to say something.

Edit: Just to answer your question: I can not say if I would want to date you because I don’t know you. All you talked about was your life situation, not your personality: likes, hobbies, tastes in music, etc. Being compatible in those things would help me determine that.

So is your relationship abstinence due to striking out because your personality or idea of relationships doesn’t fit the norm and you can’t find a suitable partner, or has your perception of relationships kept you from pursuing relationships entirely?

So does that extend to her friends as well? Or is it just family you have a problem with? Also, is it about family that is constantly around and in your business or just that the family feels like they’re part of the relationship too?

So are you a loner or you don’t want a friend who is constantly around?

So, have you been in past relationships where you learned this or from some sort of observation (going on dates for example)?

Sleeping together is nice, sometimes sleeping alone is better. I'm increasingly a subscriber to John Hodgeman's opinion that everyone, who can, should try to set up a "guest" sleeping spot for either spouse to retreat to. A recliner can be great, because it's often when someone had a cold and needs to sleep elevated anyway.

My SO and I sleep alone because I move too much in my sleep. My bff and their SO does the same for similar reasons. Sleeping separately doesn’t mean you don’t love each other, it’s a practicality.

You are never alone…

This counts as both.

That just means you would need a level 2 charger for your house instead of the 120v ones.

As an EV owner, I love my EV. My state had a tax rebate that paid for my home charger, and my SO installed it (though it can be very costly to get a power line run to your parking spot if you can’t do it yourself). It’s easier to drive (1-petal driving, regenerative breaking), I like how quiet it is, and I can go (almost) anywhere roadtrip-wise and have chargers available. However, there is a need for more chargers out in the world as there are places it’s hard to travel because the chargers have too much distance between them.

As a pedestrian, I wish more people drive electric cars because my walking path is so noisy (and sometimes smelly) on the main road because of the ICE cars. I would prefer a world where we didn’t need cars, but I commute 30 miles at the moment, so that’s out of the question for me.

Hunker down and see if the neighbors attack. It’s 50/50 around here. I don’t think my neighbors will attack me but who knows! I’ve got enough guns and ammo to defend myself if it’s not a super heavy attack. Idk, in a civil war, does everyone just start fighting? I’d probably be more careful going to the store…