Kornblumenratte

Context: I'm missing a cutting board. So I wrote in our telegram family group: "Wo ist eigentlich unser zweites großes Schneidebrett hin?" (literally: "Where is actually our second big cuttingboard thither?").

By using the modal particle "eigentlich" I insinuate that something is oddly off and express an emotional state of curiousity and/or mild discontent.

By adding "hin", I notify that I ask because it is not where it is supposed to be and not because I don't know where it should be.

Now I ask myself, how would I express this additional information in English?

Edit: Thank you all for your answers! I learned a lot. Just our cutting board is still gone, and probably enjoying it's freedom somewhere ... I suppose.

Yesterday was a strange day. Until noon I was well as usual – 90 % on my new, cfs adapted wellbeing rating (would have been 45 % pre-cfs...). So, great day! Then I started to decline. fled work at 14:45. Was barely able to reach home. rested. watched a movie with the very discerning feeling I might overexert me by watching. Went to bed at 20:00, sleeping well using my night medication, waking after 9 h, feeling ok-ish, resting a bit more, wondering what caused this crash – well, it didn't really feel like a crash, should feel worse the next day if it was a crash. Strange. Getting up. Preparing coffee. deciding to apply my crash medication. So – 10 mg prednisolon in Wednesday medication. 5 in Thursday's – wait. Yesterday was Wednesday, wasn't it' I'm pretty sure about that. So why is Wednesday still full?

TL;DR

forgot to take medication yesterday, experienced it's worth anew.

@[email protected]'s idea to share treatments that seemed to have worked for us is a good idea.

So – here is my recipe:

1. Acceptance of CFS and commitment to my new live.

2. feeding my mitochondria dayly with Ribose (~ 2 x 5g), Carnitine (2 x 1 g), Magnesium (400 mg), Ubichinole (200 mg) and some B-Vitamine. I'm taking a combination substitute and forgot which one is important for mitochondrial function.

3. supporting my hormones by taking L-Thyroxin 50 μg and Prednisolon 1.25 mg. Probably a pinch of Testosterone would be helpful, too.

4. Fighting POTS with 2.4 mg Bisoprolol and compression stockings, if it's bad.

5. Intensive aerobic training (aka pacing). At my lowest point, I bought a heart rate sensor to start aerobic training as outlined in the r/cfs wiki. I found out that walking in my appartement already triggered heart rates indicative of anaerobic metabolism. I had to slow down quite a bit for my body to become able to start regenerating.

6. Using a script/app to log my activities and remind me of taking breaks.

7. Qi Gong, tuned down to current state. The avarage Youtube video is too much for severe to medium CFS – I reduce repetitions and simplify the forms when I'm down.

8. Yin Yoga (or probably any other form of passive stretching. During Reha they prefered Fascia Training, which is good technique but imho too strenuous for medium to severe CFS).

9. 75 μg Clonidine and 1.75 mg Zopiclone when I'm not able to sleep.

10. 300 – 2 x 600 mg NAC when I'm wired but tired – haven't found my dose yet.

11. For me, Binaural Beats work very well for this wired but tired state as well. I just feel uncomfortable using ear plugs and my tinnitus gets louder as well.

12. All sorts of guided relaxation. Youtube is a treasure trove. When I'm down, I can't guide myself to deep relaxation.

13. 5–10 mg Prednisolone and 75 μg L-Thyroxine instead of 50 μg when I'm aware of an imminent crash for 3 days.

After 9 month, I was able to start 2 h/4 days work again, and after 8 more months (and several crashes) I was back to full time and ~ 60 % work load. After 3 month full time/60 % work load I know that I will not be able to work with a full work load any time soon (nor presumably ever again).