JoeKlemmer

joined 1 year ago
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145
A few weeks ago, I made two online purchases; a box to store my money and some speakers. (lemmy.myserv.one)
submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink
 

They arrived today, safe and sound.

87
I just had lunch at the Pelican Cafe. (lemmy.myserv.one)
 

The food was good, but the bill was enormous.

56
A while ago, I went to the store and bought some self-rising flour. (lemmy.myserv.one)
 

But it's still sitting on the floor where I left it.

67
I've been very thorough on my spree of stealing government signs. (lemmy.myserv.one)
 

I've been pulling out all the stops.

84
A woman wanted to make soup. (lemmy.myserv.one)
 

She went to the store and asked the clerk, "Do you have any chicken broth?" He replied, "Sorry, we're out of stock."

156
Why don't Teslas have that new car smell? (lemmy.myserv.one)
 

Because they have more of an Elon Musk.

4
Knock, knock! (lemmy.myserv.one)
 

Who's there?

Yacht.

Yacht who?

Yacht-a know me by now.

22
What's a shoe repairman's favorite dessert? (lemmy.myserv.one)
 

Tearinmyshoe.

64
How does a penguin build its house? (lemmy.myserv.one)
 

Igloos it together.

18
Watson: Sherlock, where do lemons come from? (lemmy.myserv.one)
 

Sherlock: A lemon tree, Watson

103
The horse government never gets anything done. (lemmy.myserv.one)
 

The politicians always vote "neigh."

51
The Olympics feature the world's longest hyphen event. (lemmy.myserv.one)
 

The 400-meter dash.

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