My ex. I had weird feeling from the start, because they wanted to spent time with me 24/7. my ex was so superkind, helpful and always giving me compliments and i quess i got hooked on that cause they felt different being overly nice. I will not share whole the story, but when i was with them, i started to notice patterns. So shortly my ex sexually abused/raped when i was sleeping, this happened atleast 3 times. And their excuse was sorry, thought you were sleeping. They were pressing to do other stuff too, i quess you can probably quess, but if i declined i got silent treatments and they were moody and annoyed. When my ex was pressuring to do videos on Pornhub(i declined ofc) i started realise that this is so fuckin sick, i started to have insomnia, depression, getting angry and started to have social anxety. Relationship ended when i discovered that they were cheating +6months with their friend without protection ofc, and all their excuses were blaming me for being moody, angry and suicidal, yeah after all that i think not many women will be sane. They werent sorry or take accountability. I wasted 10 years because i was too stupid to realise that that wasnt love. I still feel like a idiot. Therapy has been huge help for me and i know that it will take years to recover. I shouldve listened that gut feeling because i ended be in relationship with a sosiopath or something similar.
Freesiana
Im not here This isnt happening Im not here, im not here.
How to disappear completely-Radiohead
Such a simple lyrics, but it resonate with me
Cliche as it sounds, my ex. It took so many years and therapy to understand that i was dating person who was very manipulative and perhaps had some kind of personality disorder or something else. My ex sometimes penetraded me while i was sleeping by fingers or penis. Pressuring to anal sex even if i didnt want it, otherwise they would gaslight me or giving me silent treatments if i wasnt agreeing, pressuring to make videos to pornhub because we had money issues while i was grieving my friend's death, sometimes "forgotting" protection and other things. Relationship ended because they were cheating me with a friend. I wasnt always good person to her cause i started to have anger issues, social anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts and i am pretty sure that these issues begin with those actions. They tried gaslight me that i caused the cheating, but i am so fucking glad that i trusted myself and end that relationship. It will take loooooong time to heal from the trauma that they caused and trust issues, but i am slowly getting better. If anyone has going throught same, please just please leave and love yourself, it will get better.โฅ๏ธ
Cyberpunk 2077 Rebel path Cello version
Thank you. I feel like i did the right choice when i left and now i am taking a new chapter in my life. Cheers to new beginnings ๐ฅณ